Waking Eyes
by Klutzzy55
Summary: The whole story of Esme from where she was proposed to Charles till she finally married Carlisle. Rated M for stupid Charles. I LOVE reviews! it gets better I promise!
1. Chapter 1

chapter 1+

I ran my finger along the sentences of the book I was reading. It kept me on the right line and not off track. I was lying on my bed reading my text book like teacher would do. Since I was hoping that one day I will become a teacher in Ashland I decided to practice. I looked up at my "students" to see if they were working. I sighed and put my book aside.

"Kennith, quit talking to Courtney," I said to my two dolls with button eyes and sewed on smiles.

I puffed and continued my reading.

"They make it look so easy in class." I muttered. There were tiny drawn pictures of forgein signs and letters. I shook my head and put the book on my stand, or table, and looked t my "students".

"Okay, pull out your books and turn to page 27." I said with a smile.

Since they were in no shape to move or talk I walked over and placed a English book for Courtney and a Math book for Kennith since I didn't have three books that were the same.

I brushed of my imaginary lint from my dress and walked back proudly to my stand, or table.

"Okay, for todays assignment you will right a paragraph of what you want to be when you grow up."

I pretended the class groaned in frusteration and held up my hands, "No complaining."

"Now I want it to be titled. No fragments and correct your puncuation, Kennith." I directed it to him.

"Please give it your best try and really think about it because this is _very_ important since this will count on most of your grade for this six weeks."

I pretended Courtney raised her hand, "Yes?" I called on her.

I also pretended that she asked when this was due.

"It will be due my the end of this week." I remembered that today was Monday.

I walked around my room passing them a sheet of paper to write on and a neatly sharpened pencil.

"Your text books will help you so I suggest you use them. And-"

"ESME!" my father called.

"Class dismissed!" I said in shock. I crumbled up the paper and threw it away while stuffing my dolls in the closet and neatly placed the text books in my bag.

"Coming father!" I called from upstairs.

"I better not find you with those silly dolls of yours!"

"Courtney and Kennith are students." I said under my breath while going down the stairs.

I stumbled on the last step but kept by balance. I slyly smoothed out the invisible wrinkles on my dress.

My father was getting his drink of coffee and sitting down at his chair.

I smiled, "Yes father?"

He looked up to me,"Ah there you are Esme. I thought you might need to know your chores for today."

He took a long sip of his coffee,"We will have guests over today so I want this...this pigsty to be straightened up."

I looked around the kitchen, the dishes needed to be washed and dried and even the cabnets needed to be dusted.

I looked back at him, "So I must clean the dishes?"

"And dust." he said. I knew it.

"Yes father. Were is mother?" I havent seen her.

"Down at the Evenson's. Mrs. Evenson invited her to go with them down town. Something about gardening." he shook his head. I smiled wider.

"Too womanly for you?" I asked.

He nodded his head after he took his sip, "I'm not a man who likes gardening. Pansy's are good enough."

I snickered and he looked at me.

"What?"

I had to ask him, "You planted pansy's?"

He had a faint smile, "Your mother was pregnant with you and wanted pansy's. Since she couldn't bend over to plant them who do you think she ran to?" he pointed his finger to his chest.

"Timothy?" I played.

"No me!" he said. I started laughing.

I looked around the room while it was silent for now. I noticed I was still standing so sat across from father.

"So what were you doing up there?" he gestured toward upstairs.

I bit my lower lip and hung me head low, I wasn't the person to lie to father, or anyone for that matter, but he did ask.

"I was...um...teaching." I nearly whispered. He sighed and shook his head.

"Esme, how many times do we have to go over this?" I shrugged with my head still down.

"Its not respectable for a lady to live alone in the wilds. Besides, dont yu tink the west is to far away?"

I looked up at him with pleading eyes, "It's something I always wanted to do. Its never too far away."

"Your only 21 Esme."

"I'm going to be 22 very soon father. Its not like I can stay this same age forever."

He laughed very faintly,"Yes but wouldnt it be nice?"

I shook my head, "Not at all." he looked up at me.

"Life is a circle in full rotation." I said. he shook his head and kept his head down mumbling something to himself.

It was silent for along time. I saw that he had finished his coffee, so I took the glass and rinsed it out.

"Esme, leave it for now." he said. His green eyes that I wanted were gleeming like usual.

I nodded with a grin and set them down. I wiped my hands with a dish towel and set it back in its proper place.

"What do you want me to do?"

He looked out the window then back to me, "Your mother wont be back anytime soon. Why dont you go play with the horses?"

I crossed my arms and leaned against the sink, "Father, I'm 21...not 8."

He smiled, "Oh...well then uh...why dont you go next door to Heather's."

I rolled my eyes, "Heather is married...remember?"

He looked confused, "Did she move?"

I nodded and he sighed, "I know you dont like me talking about it but," here we go, "Esme you need to be married."

I rolled my eyes again and walked aorund wiping the counters, "And why is that?"

He shrugged, "Well, all your freinds are. Dont you think its time?"

I shook my head while wiping the place in front of him, "I dont need a man."

He laughed, "You sound like you meant it."

I twisted my face, "I did mean it."

He quit laughing. It was silent but I broke it once again.

"So again, what do you want me to do?"

He sat here in thought, "Maybe you can bake a pie or something...I dont know!"

I laughed because he gets so frustrated. I finished up and placed the clothe back again.

"Okay, I guess so. I'll go get some apples or something." he nodded in agreement and walked out with me.

The warm sun shined on my face once I reached outside. I grabbed a woven basket to set te apples in. Father went to go milk the cows while I went picking the apples for the pie. I'm guessing our guests for tonight was the Evensons and I knew how much they loved apple pies.

I reached the tree with the red and green apples hanging from the branches. I set the basket in front of me and reaced up for a apple. I easily reached a neat red one. I inspected it closer for any bruises or welts but found it clean. I plopped it in the basket and continued the process. I had 5 so far and needed about 2 more. I wiped my forhead from the thin line of sweat shown across it.

Then I had a thought I thought I'd forgotten by now. I was picturing all my freinds married off to thier loyal husbands...and I was appart of it too. I was married to a man with golden hair and pale skin with bruised like circles under his eyes from no sleep or stress at work. His facual structure was perfect, like the rest of him...flawless. His golden shaded eyes would melt into my brown eyes with pure love. He'd hold me hands and, with the softess voice ever, told me I was beautiful. I would be named Esme Ann Platt Cullen. I closed my eyes picturing it.

"Esme Cullen." I said to myself. It had a ring to it. I smiled to myself and opened my eyes. I saw th basket full of apples. I carried them to the house wearing a huge smile. I pretneded the whole way that I was a happily married wife and devoted for that matter. I set the basket of apples on the table and got out my tools for the making of my pie. In the cabnet mother said she had made a crust already and wrapped it up for me. I pulled open the doors, got it out, and set it next to the basket.

I unfolded it to smell the heavnly scent. I breathed and got out an apple.

"Why thank you dear." I said pretending my husband handed me the apple.

I cut out the core of the apple and rinsed it off. I peeled the skin off and chopped it up. I set it in the crust very gently. I ,again, continued this process till all the apples were cut up and peeled. I threw away the left overs and stuff. I walked over breifly to pull out a secret sause that made the apples sweet and poured it on the pie. I set the oven on 350 degress and waited for a little while.

It was about time so I set it in there carfully so it didnt burn me. I waited for about 15 minutes till I lifted it out.

"Perfect." I breathed. I set it on the window seal so it would cool off.

I wiped my hands then placed them on my hips. It was time for the dishes. I hd about 12 to do so it shouldnt take long. I washed, rinsed, and dried them all till we had 4 plates,3 cups,3 bowls and 2 saucers.

I smiled at myself. I walked over to retreive the pie and sat it on the table. I took out mothers sugar jar and piched a little bit. I sprinkled it all over the pie to make it extra sweet. I put the lid back on and placed it back were it was.

I walked to a closet and unfolded a white laced cloth. I spread it across the table very evenly. I placed the freshly dried plates in front of each chair along with forks, spoons, and knifes beside them. I tapped my chin thinking I had forgotten something.

"Oh!" I said. I realized there was no glasses. I set out a clear glass cup at each chair.

For an effect I went up to my room and pulled out 3 already used candles.

I set them in the middle and light them.

"Perfect." I said. I blew out the match and threw it out.

I reached in the refrigorater and pulled out dinner she had prepared for tonight and sat it around the table for everyone to get. I took a step back and sighed in acheivment.

"Mmm...what smells good?" father said walking in.

I smiled, "I made the pie just like you suggested." he smiled back.

"Good job Esme." he noticed the table finally and looked aw struck.

"Esme, you didnt have to do all this.' he gestured to the table.

I shrugged, "I wanted to." He tore his eyes from my master peice to see me.

"Well in that case, it looks very nice." I smiled. He walked up the stairs to take a shower.

I looked out that window, the sun was setting.

"There fixing to be here." I said to no one.

I opened the windows everywhere to let the warm breeze in. I took in the scent from outside and sighed.

"Lovely." I said.

I turned and went upstairs as well to change.

I put on my very best dress, white with a green silk bow tied around it. I pulled my curls up to a dazzling hair style.

I slipped off my shoes and exchanged them for dress shoes. I rolled up my long sking tight white sleeves twice so that they were at my wrist and bot hanging off. I looked in the mirror for anything that need to be fixed up. I pinched my cheeks for some color and walked gracefully down the stairs.

Right then, mother and the Evenson's walked in laughing.

I walked down faster to meet my mother. She saw me and smiled warmly.

"Esme dear, you look lovely." she said.

"Thank you mother." I said. I stood beside her and took her coat.

I then turned to the Eveson's and took theirs as well.

"Why aren't you just lady like?" Mrs. Evenson said. I smiled.

I turned to take mr. Evenson's, "Why thank you ma'am." I nodded.

Then I finally reached Charles. He was next to his father and was starring at me.

I bent my head to the floor so he wuldnt stare at me. I gently took his coat from him, but his hand caught my wrist in a firm grasp.

"You look lovely today Miss Platt." he said. He didnt smile, it was more like a statment.

I looked up in his eyes and smiled weakly, "Thank you, Charles."

He nodded and let me go. I twisted my wrist around a couple of times.

"Dinner is in the kitchen,' I looked at Charles, "Please enjoy."

He smiled at me but it did not fit his eyes. I hun the coats on the coat hanger and went upstairs to father.

I do not know why I still had the same feeling whne Charles was here. I was scared or uncomfortable when he was in my presense. I have known him forever by now, I thought the feeling would be lost by now.

I knocked on fathers door, "Father?"

"One moment Esme." I nodded even though he could not see me.

I moment later he opened the door, "Yes?"

He had on a formal outfit, "They're here."

He shut the door behind him and walked down the stairs with me.

"There he is!" Mr. Eveson said.

"Sorry for the delay, I was trying on this old thing." he directed to the suit.

I sat across from Charles. He stared at me with starnge eyes so I looked around.

"This is lovely ham Karen." Charles said to my mother.

"Why thank you Charles, what a fine man you have Mrs. Evenson."

"Oh! You know that Charles!" she said plopping a peice of ham in her mouth.

I cleared my throat and looked at Charles, "So, how are you?"

He kept starring, "I'm well. And you?"

My stomach was churning, "I'm fine. Plowing alot these days though."

He nodded, "I as well."

I smiled half heartly and continued to eat.

We were done no sooner after. I returned the coats to their rightful owners. All the adults went outside for a short chat while me and Charles were still at the doorway. He looked at me.

"Esme?" he said.

"Yes?" I nearly whispered.

He looked as if he was struggling to say something, but then abruptly he put his hands on both sides of my face and pulled me to his lips. His lips her hard and not soft one bit.

He continued to kiss me with passion. I, however was struggling. His hands moved to the back of my head to pull me closer and his other hand sneaked to my waist to make me even closer. I did as he commanded for an odd reason till I pulled away.

"Good night." he said with an evil grin. He turned on his heel and walked off.

I leaned against the wall gasping. The room was tilted a weird direction till I fell and hit the ground. I sat there till father came in and lifted me up.

"Aw, you and Charles are really hitting it off huh?" he said.

"At least he thinks so." I responded. My mother looked at father and the shared a silent conversation. Then he turned to me with a fake smile.

"Esme...can we go back to talking about your marraige situation?"

I was confused, "Who's asking?"

He cleared his throat and looked at me with honest eyes, "Charles Evenson."


	2. Chapter 2

+chapter 2+

I stood there frozen stiff from what I just heard. I ran through the conversation through my head once more. It all added up to one thing...Charles Evenson wanted to marry me.

"Esme?" said my mother, "Esme dear you need to speak."

I blinked and looked at her with a confused face, even though I knew exactly what was going on here.

"Esme, answer me." father said.

I looked at him with the same look, "Father?"

"Yes?"

I looked around the room we were in. It was the same place Charles kissed me.

"Wha...what are you trying to say?" I stuttered.

He let go of my shoulder and exchanged them for my hands and took a very long and deep breath.

Mother was trying to smile but failed, "Jonathan honey, maybe we should go into a diffrent room."

He nodded once and went towards the living room. I follwed but was still shocked.

Why would Charles want to marry me? I knew that I've known him for a long time, but we never actually talked other than tonight. Was this for love or lust? What does he see in me, and will I be happy? What will I say? What _should_ I say? If I say no what excuse do I have?

I was sitting on a soft but yet hard couch still wondering on about my thoughts and questions till my mothers soft hands were under my chin making my face turn to her direction. She had a very warm, motherly smile.

"Are you going to tell me or not?" I asked her. It was suppose to sound stonger but my shock told me other wise.

She too held my hands, "Esme...sweet Esme." she started.

I turned to father, "Father?"

"Its not bad news actually Esme," he said.

"Then why are you two acting like it?" I said. I knew very well that I was too though.

He sighed, "Esme...what do you _think_ is going on?"

I looked back at mother, "Charles...he wants me to be his wife."

She nodded, "Oh isn't it wonderful!" she said cheerfully. I knew she knew I wasn't on the same level with her.

Father smiled, "You will be a wealthy wife."

"And Charles is such a fine man for you sweetheart." mother said.

"But mother, I have never spoken to him exept for tonight."

"Oh Esme! You two have known each other since you could walk!" she said.

'Yes but..." I couldnt speak. I knew that they wanted this more than me.

"Karen?" Fther said. She looked away from me and to father with a warm smile.

"May I speak to Esme alone?" he asked.

She nodded once and gave me a tender kiss on the cheek. Once she walked out of the room father turned his direction to me. He sighed once more.

"Esme darling...I know you think...diffrently abour Charles, but, give him a try okay?"

"A try? So your telling me if I dont like it...then I can leave him?" I said.

"Let me rephrase that. Give it a chance. Charles loves you so. And I know that you may not feel the same towards him now..but, later in life you will." he smiled.

I nodded my head, "I know father...I know."

He looked confused, "Then why are you not agreeing?"

"I never said yes...or no." I told him.

"Well...when will you answer?"

I thought abut that, "When my mind is made up."

"Esme, look on the bright side. Maybe he will move out west like you wanted and you can become a teacher."

I did like that plan very much, but it wasnt like that was wat I truly wanted out of life.

"Yes, that much maybe true."

"And he will take good care of you. He loves you like no other man I know. He wouldnt lay a finger on you and will hurt anyone who does."

"How do you know?"

"Ive known him for a while Esme."

I nodded, "Oh."

"And its not like its going to be the end of the world. Hes not an alcholic, he doesnt smoke, and plus hes not a drug adict." he said pointing to each finger for each thing he doesnt do.

"Yes, I know."

It was all coming clear, Charles wont hurt me and truly loves me...or so I hear. He just wants to be with me like I want to be with my golden hair angel. But, unlike Charles, that will never happen. So why kep on waiting for smething that will never happen to you? Why not fulfill someone elses dream? Whats the worse that could happen?

I looked up at father and smiled...it was a natural smile but it wasnt always true.

"Father?" I said.

"Yes?" his voice was anxious.

I sighed, "I'll do it."

He jumped to his feet along with me in his arms. He was smiling and laughing.

"I knew you would come around!" he said proudly.

"Karen! Karen come here and meet the bride!" he called to mother.

Mother came running in with her arms open, "My baby!" she said.

I smiled so big I thought it would crack my face. She ran into my holding me in her arms.

"My baby is going to be a woman. A wife!" she said.

"I must tell Charles!" father said jumping to his feet.

I put my hand on his shoulder once mother let go so he would sit down.

"No father, " I said, "I will tell him myself."

They both smiled even wider. I grabbed my coat and flung it on me.

I pushed the door open and walked toward my carriage.

I sat in my chair and grabbed hold of the reins. With a tug on the reins we were off.

They're house wasnt too far away so it didnt take me but a little while. I planned out the whole wedding even if it wasnt with the dream man I like.

I stepped out of the carriage and onto their land. They're house was huge since they wer every wealthy.

I knocked on the door once till I heard Mrs. Evenson's ringing voice.

She opened it with a smile, "Why Esme! What in heavens are you doing here?"

I smiled, "I have come to see my fiancee'."

Her face light up like mothers had, "Come in! Come in!"

She held the door open wider for me to walk in. I looked around awe struck till I spotted the overly sized couch.

I walked over and sat on it.

"Charles! Charles! Come down here! Esme is here!" she called.

I heard a clatter upstairs as she called my name and coudnt help but giggle.

There were loud thuds coming down the stairs till there was one large one and then stopped.

I turned around to see Charles with a freindly smile on his face.

"He...hello." he stuttered.

I walked over to him and his mother but I kept looking at him with a smile, "Hello Charles."

His smile widened, "What brings you here so late?"

I looked at his mothers excited smile and then Charles anxious eyes.

I sighed, "I just came to say...I...I do."

Mrs. Evenson clapped her hands together while Charles scooped me up and twirled me around.

"You mean it? You truly mean it?" he said.

I nodded, "If I didnt then I wouldnt be here now would I?"

He put me down and kissed me, and this time I didnt pull away. I still didnt like it. It felt horrible.

This was all too wrong, but if I made someone's day, whats so bad?

He pulled away and held my hand.

"Mrs. Esme Anne Evenson." he said.

I laughed and he looked at me, "What?"

"It's just...my first and last initials are the same letter."

"So?" he said.

I jumped back a little but his face turned softer, "Mine rhyme."

We both laughed.

I stayed for a little while discussing what we had I plan for the wedding and came to a decission that we will wed after my birthday, which was in two days.

I would wear my mothers old dress and we would wed at his house since it _was_ bigger.

He walked me back to the carriage hand in hand, I really didnt like this but its not like I was doing this for me.

He set me in the carriage with one short kiss for good bye.

"I will see you tomorow." I said.

'It seems so long of a way." he said. I mentally rolled my eyes but just smiled faintly on the outside.

"Goodbye Charles." I said. He smacked the horse for me and I went off to home.

I reached our small home and hopped out f the carriage. I walked slower so they wouldnt see my tears running down. I wiped them off and pulled myself together. Theres no turning back now, I told myself.

I walked in with the fakest smile on, but at least they took it well.

"Oh Esme! What did he say darling?" mothers voice singed.

"We will wed after my birthday...at his house." I said.

"And your dress?" father asked.

I looked at him then back to mother, "I will borrow hers."

She smiled and held out her hand, "Come here dear, you need to try it on."

I obeyed her and took her hand. We went to her room to try on the dress.

I sat on her bed while she dug through her things to find the dress.

"Ah! Here it is!" she said. She pulled out an elegant dress that was white strapless and had golden flower designs on it. There was a medium train that was soft white. I was in awe.

"Mother...I...I cant wear this." I said.

"Why sure you can dear." she said giving it to me.

"Its your wedding day...now its your wedding dress."

I smiled at her and took the dress, "Thank you."

"Now! Lets get them heels!" she said clapping her hands together.

She cret back into the closet for some shoes I didnt need, she she did insist.

She climbed back out holding a cardboard box with more than likely some shoes inside it.

She opend up the box slowly, "Come on mother!"

She giggled and opened it up faster.

There were gold high heels that held onto the ankle and strped over your toes.

"Mother! Were did you get those!" I said reaching out to touch them, but she snapped the box shut so fast it made me jump and she laguhed.

"Family secret." she said.

I took the box from her hands and sat it on the bed.

"Now lets try the dress on." she said.

I was excited as much as she was...to try on the beautiful dress.

Too bad it was for the wrong person and wedding.

I went into the bathroom and tugged off my old clothes and swaped them with the dress. I had to ask moter for a strapless bra.

I opened the door and walked out. Mother looked like she was in a mix between crying and fainting.

"Esme...you are simply beautiful."

"No...not beautiful." father said walking in.

"Gorgous." he finished.

"Thank you father." I said.

He nodded once and walked over to mother, "You sort of look like your mother with the dress on."

"I do?"

"Yes, she was quit beautiful also."

I rolled my eyes, "I thought I was gorgous?"

He smiled, "You know what I mean."

I walked back in the bathroom and took off the dress and again switched to my clothes.

I was biting my lip so hard you would have thought it was bleeding by now.

I was shaking off the tears that should be rolling down.


	3. Chapter 3

chapter 3+

"Happy birthday to you...happy birthday to you...happy birthday dear Esme...happy brithday to you."

I took in a deep breath and blew out every candle I could. Mother suprised me this morning with a cake she made last night secretly for my birthday.

Her and father were standing over my bed from were I just woke up.

"Mother, you really didnt have to do this you know."

She smiled, "I know dear...but I just couldnt resist."

Father pulled out a butter knife and sliced into it. Mother held out her plate and he plopped the cake right on it.

"Thank you." she said.

"Your welcome." he responded.

"Hello! I want a slice." He chuckled and took a handful of cake. Oh no.

"No! I want a slice!" too late.

He smeered the cake all over my face.

I opened my chocolate covered eye lids to see him laughing hard.

"Taste good dear?" mother asked trying not to laugh.

"Its...delicious." I glared at father.

Mother gave me a napkin and I wiped off the cake.

Just then, Charles walked in.

"Esme! Esme were are you?" he said looking around my room as if I wasnt here.

"Charles!" I said. He laughed and came over to my side.

I sat up a little to see him. His finger wiped off some icing from my nose and tasted it.

"Very nice." he said to my mother. She smiled and placed her hands on his shoulders while looking at me.

I hoped off the bed to take aquik shower and nobody argued. I walked out and bumped into Charles.

"You smell good, darling." he said. I gagged mentally. _Darling_.

"Why thank you. Mother bought a new brand of soap." I replied.

He gave me a swift hug and walked me to the kitchen. He sat me down and walked over to the stove.

"Oh, you dont have to make me any breakfast." I said,

"But it is your birthday." he said. I didnt argue with anything he said.

I flipped my head over and towel dried my hair. I needed to get the hair brush.

I scooted away but Charles grabbed my waist real hard, "Were are you going?"

I looked up at him in shock, "To get my hair brush."

He looked at my haert shaped face and let go. He turned back to my breakfast.

I slowly turned waiting for him to lung himself to me, but the coast was clear.

I went up my stairs and into my bedroom. I shut my door and leaned up against it exhaling.

I hadnt noticed I hadnt breathed. I looked to see my "student" packed in a box that was labled **WASTE**.

I nearly screamed but covered my mouth. I ran over to see what else was in it and sadly I found what I was praying not to see.

My text books were thrown in there carelessly along with my fake back pack for the children. I was fixing to cry.

I turned my head around so I couldnt see anymore..Its okay, when we move out west I will be a teacher for real students, I told myself.

I kicked the box away from me so it was no longer in my sight.

I walked to my dresser and found my brush and brushed my wet hair out. It was tangle free finally and I went back downstairs, trying to look away from my classroom.

I hoped down happily even though I was far from happy.

"Done." he said.

He sat a plate filled with bacon and eggs right were I had sat...and supposively will.

I looked at him, "It looks delicious." I lied.

The bacon was crisps and the eggs were burnt.

"Ah, but you never know." he wiped his hands.

I smiled and sat down in front of the plate. I took a fork and carved into the egg. I had to use both hands to push down on the fork. I looked up at him and smiled while he frowned.

He brushed his fingers through his hair, "I uh...guess Im not all that great of a cook."

"No,no...it's fine," I struggled to say while cutting the rock hard egg.

"Mind passing me the butcher knife?" I asked.

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That night I had the most horrible nightmare.

It was my wedding and I was in my dress walking down the aisle. I looked to my side of the wedding were my family should be...but there was no one.

I looked to the other side...Charles side.

He had to have up to 90 people there. But they werent the faces I knew. They were all murderous.

I looked up and saw Charles back was turned to me. I started crying.

I reached to stand beside him. He reached over and turned my veil back to see my face.

I saw his eyes...black as coal and an evil smirk on his face.

"You may now kill the bride." said the pastor.

I looked up to see who it was...it was _him_.

My jaw dropped and looked back to Charles. He showd his teeth that were sharp.

"No!" I screamed.

Then, there was blackness. Always blackness.


	4. Chapter 4

chapter 4+

I walked over to my closet trying to shake off my dream. I couldnt help but remember Charles' black evil eyes and his evil grin.

But even more I remembered my angels face. He was so diffrent then the last time I saw him.

I shook my head pushing the memory out of focus. I grabbed the door handles and slowly turned them. I gasped and saw my dress sill were it was. The same golden and white dress. I bit my lower lip and pulled it out. I walked over to the bed and spread it out. I stepped back and looked at it. I sighed and slipped off my shirt and pants.

I slid it over my body till it was in every right spot. I smiled to myself.

There was a tap at the door.

"Come in." I said examining the dress.

Mother steped in with her white dress and scarf. She was very pretty today.

"Darling, you are simply beautiful." she said.

I smiled at her, "I think I may need some help with my hair."

Her smile widened and she stepped over my clothes I threw off and dragged me to Mrs. Evenson's stool.

She brushed out my soft carmel curls and swiftly pinned them up tightly. She clipped tiny golden roses to my hair.

She talked about her wedding day and many other things that I tuned out.

"Charles is a lucky man." she said to me in the mirror.

I smiled faintly. I dabbed on some make-up but not to much. A few swipes of mascara and broze eye shadow.

"Oh now Esme! Its you wedding day! Add some zest." she took eyeliner and traced it under and above my eye and curled my lashes. She also painted my lips a deep red that I disliked very much.

"Thank you." I looked like a zombie bride.

She ran into the other room and got my shoes. She came back and nearly flipped me over to put them on.

Once they were fastened, she got the veil.

Gently she sat it on my head and flipped the clothe in front of my face.

I finally did something by myself and got my flowers. It was white roses along with daisies tied togeter in a large white bow.

"It's time." she said.

I looked out the window and saw everyone waiting...for the bride, for me.

I took a deep breath, "Is father ready?"

"He's been ready for the past ten minutes." she said.

I walked out of the room and don the stairs. At the doorway was father in a tuxedo that was to tight for him.

"You look lovely." he said.

I smiled and turned to mother, "I love you."

"I love you too." she said.

He escorted me to the back door while mother went all the way around the house to reach their over sized back-yard.

"You ready?" he asked.

"Ye...Yes." I choked out.

He pushed the doors open and the pianos started playing very loud.

I saw everyone, on both sides, stand up. The place was decorated in white everywhere.

I saw my two brides maids since that was all mother could get.

They had a blue strapless dress with a gold strip across their torso. Charles had his older brother as the best man and a few other buddys.

I saw all the gentle faces to my left, and right. None were like the dream. Then I looked at the preist too quickly. He was the same man that babtized me when I was 4. I sighed.

Mr. and Mrs. Evenson were smiling at me and their son.

I found mother in the front row nearly crying because I was all grown up.

My second cousin, and best freind, was there also. I smiled so wide when I spotted her I wanted to let go of father and chat with her. But his grip was strong so I obeyed.

My dear freind Heather was one of the brides maids along with Rebecca. Heather use to be my neighbor but recently got married and moved out north. Rebecca was Heather's twin and also got married.

Both of their husbands were looking at me with probing eyes.

I turned my focus to Charles, his hands were clasped together and his back wasnt turned to me. I sighed in releif.

His face was normal and he was wearing a charming smile. His hair was, however, sleeked back. It made his brod figure look more of a man than a 23 year old.

"I love you Esme." Father said finally.

I looked at him with sad eyes but tried not to cry...didnt want the mascara to run.

"Who gives this woman to this man?" the preist asked.

"I do." father said.

"No thats my line." Charles said. The whole crowd laughed.

Father gave me a quick kiss on the cheek and walked off to mother.

I stood and faced Charles. He lifted the veil from in front of my face to the back. His eyes were normal and green.

I smiled in releif and took his hands in mine.

"Do you Charles Mark Evenson take Esme to be your lawfully wedded wife?"

"I do" The preist turned to me.

"And do you Esme Anne Platt take Charles to be your lawfully wedded husband?"

_No, I cant._ I thought.

"I do." I managed to say finally.

"By the power invested in me...I know pronounce you husband and wife."

Charles looked at me with eager eyes.

"You may now kiss the bride." he said.

Charles waited no longer or sooner and swooped me up and kissed me in front of every family memember to see.

Everyone clapped and cheered and hooted and hollered. I finally let the tears roll down that people beleived were tears of joy.

We sped off and down the aisle hand in hand. We didnt go far since the reception was held in his house.

He pulled the door back so we could get inside.

"We did it!" he said proudly. He kissed me again and again till I couldnt breath.

I saw two large chairs and some littler ones next to them.

We sat there with smiles and watched all our guests file in. I looked over with a smile then back.

Everyone was in there seat in no time and the waitors came around with treats.

I pointed out all of my family memebers and told tales while he did the same. Then out of no where my second cousin and best freind wlked up. She was smiling showing her pearl whites. Her blonde hair was tied back and her black dress showed her curves. Her husband, Blake, was by her side at all times.

"Esme! Its been too long! I turn my back for one second and here you are all grown up and now married." she said.

"I guess I can say the same about you too, " I said gesturing to Blake. He smiled at me.

"I still remember when you fell out of that dreadful tree and broke your leg." she said.

"I do too, " but not for the same reason.

"Well she is all better now." Charles said.

I looked at him, "By the way Charles this Sara Beth, she is my second cousin and best friend."

He nodded and extended his hand out, "Hello Sara Beth."

"Sara...I go by Sara." she corrected.

"Well Sara...Nice to meet you." he shook her hand.

I gestured to Blake, "And this is her husband Blake."

"Hello Charles." Blake said. They both shook hands.

There was suddenly a clink from a fork and glass. I looked in the direction, as did everyone else.

Father was standing up with the fork and glass in is hand. Once he say he had gotten everyones attention he set the fork down and kept te glass.

"Uh Hello...my name is Jonathan Platt. Iam Esme's father." he introduced himself.

"I would like to make a toast but before I do that I'm going to make a speech."

He cleared his throat, "I have been with her since she was born. I saw her smiles and frowns. Ive seen her cry and laugh. Ive been through thick and thin. When shes mad or glad. Sad or happy, Ive been there. Now I know all her little crushes and her fantasy's." Everyone snickered.

"But only one managed to win her heart." He said. He was wrong...in a way. But I smiled.

"I hope that your days together will last in harmony. And that you will look in each others eyes and see the love you have for each other. So heres a toast to Mr. and Mrs. Evenson." he held up his glass.

"To Mr. and Mrs. Evenson, " our guest echoed.

"To us." Charles said. We clinked our glasses and took a sip.

That night dragged on longer than any other. The dances were worse when Charles tipped me over to kiss me for the fans. But what was too much was all the drinks Charles had drank. Which led me here.

"ESME! QUIT HIDING FROM ME AND GET OUT OF THAT BATHROOM! ESME!"

He banged the door so much I was sure it would break down any moment. Then...it finally did.

"Hello Esme." he said.


	5. Chapter 5

chapter 5+

I knew from all the bruises I had counted that this was the worst mistake I had ever made.

"ESME!" he yelled across from me.

"I'm right here Charles." I said softly.

"Well come over here then!"

I pushed my chair away and slowly walked to his. Once I reached his side a big hand back slapped me causing me to fall to the floor gasping for air.

"Yes...Charles?" I said very faintly.

"I told you to make a simple dinner and you have failed to do that!"

I wimpered, "But...but you never said anything about dinner."

He kicked my sore rib, knocking the breath right out of me.

"Woman you should know by now if I want dinner. Now get yourself up and make me some god for saken dinner!"

I tried my hardest to get up but failed, a hard grisp around my wrist pulled me up and to my feet.

"I swear you cant do _anything_ without me." he said.

If I did anything without him I would be punished. If I did make him dinner when he wasnt hungry I would be punished again. If I made a simple mistake I would suffer.

I walked over and got some leftovers from last night and sat them on a plate.

I put the plate in front of him along with the silverware. He stared at it in disbeleif, "You gave me roast beef?"

"You ate it yesterday and didn't com-" he through a peice of corn bread at my head.

"God woman you know I cant have roast beef!"

"You ate it yesterday!" His eyes were angered by my words.

"Dont you DARE raise your voice at me young lady!"

"I'm one year younger!" I screamed. Bad mistake. He got up from his chair and flexed his fingers.

I stared at him in horror and took a step back.

"Charles dear..." I said frightened.

I turned on my heel and bolted out the door with huge steps following me.

I slammed the door open and ran as fast as I could to the corn field.

I never looked back and tried to throw him off.

I ran across the whole feild fleeing from him.

But then he grasped me and pulled me down.

"NO CHARLES! DONT PLEASE!" I cried in fear.

"SHUT UP!"

I felt something scrape across my face...a belt?

"You may be one year younger...but that doesnt make you any older!"

I felt several blows to the face and when Istruggled to escape it was harder.

"Charles stop! Please stop Charles!" I begged and pleaded.

"Woman shut up!"

I moaned and cried but I had to give in. The neighbors werent home s they're was no use.

"Dont you ever raise your voice at me you hear?! Try it one more time and you'll be sorry!"

He slashed the object across my face once more...and harder.

I couldnt feel my face but knew I would have cuts. I felt my face and saw blood staining my finger tips.

"Oh!" I rolled over trying to breath. I moaned so many times till there was blackness from one last blow to my rib.

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I woke up in the fields with my clothes soaked from rain. I tryed getting up but was so sore. I let the sun graze over my face with its warmth.

"Ch...Charles?" I said.

There was nothing but silence. I was happy for that. I placed my hands to the ground and tryed to lift my body up and away from it. I was so weak I couldnt move.

"Esme? Esme Evenson?" I heard. It wasnt Charles, thank the lord.

It was the neighbor, "Leslie?"

"Oh Esme! Honey are you okay?" she said. Her hands tryed to lift me up but failed.

"Lord hat happened to you? Christopher!" she called her husband.

"Yeah?" came a faint yell from the feilds.

"Help me get Mrs. Evenson up. Shes hurt."

There was some rustling around till the footsteps were near me. So close I could see the mud splattered shoes.

"Lord in heaven what happened?" He said.

They both put they're hands under my body and ignored them yelps I made. I was so tender.

"On three...1...2...3!" they turned me over and I let out a cry.

"Shh! Mrs. Evenson your fine dear." Leslie said soothing me. I tryed to stay quiet.

"Esme, what happened?" Christopher asked. I digged around for a good excuse that they could beleive.

"I uh...was picking some corn and got attacked by some...crows."

Leslie and Christopher looked at each other then at me, "Crows you say?" Christopher said.

"Yes, very large. They attacked me and I blacked out I guess. Woke up here in the feilds and soaked from the rain."

Leslie shook her head and hit her husbands arm, "Ow! What did I do?" he said.

"I told you once, I told you a million times to put up that scare crow! Now look what happened!" she gestured to me.

"Now I dont recall you ever saying anything about no scare crow Leslie."

"Well, I was thinking about it." she said. Christopher rolled his eyes.

Her hair was tied up in a cloth and her face was dirty. Her skirt looked worn out and so did her shirt. Christopher had a deep tan and even drker green eyes with deep brown hair with a mtching dirty face as his wife and over alls. His starw hat was blowing in the wind.

"Were might your husband be Esme?" Christopher asked.

I looked up at his dirty face, "I guess hes at work Mr. Dawn."

"I did see him taking them horse for a ride down town. Must be getting supplies." Leslie said.

"Yea, he should be because theres no work today." Christopher said.

"Do you think you can pull yourself up ma'am?" Leslie said.

I nodded even though I wasnt sure at all. I lifted myself up to my feet easier than I thought and even balanced myself.

"Well now isnt that a sight!" Leslie said.

"Yes it is...she is _still_ shorter than me." Christopher said.

Leslie smacked him again and got off her knees.

"Come with me child...looks like you need some meat on them bones you got." she said.

They both wound a arm around me and pulled me to their home.

They sat me down and fed me up a great dinner. I looked outside and saw Charles' truck in the drive way and him getting out. My eyes widened.

"Uh Mrs. Dawn? Do you mind if I take some uh...food to my husband? I mean it is just so good."

"Sure thing sweetie." she said. She placed the rest of the scraps on a plate and wrapped it in a cloth.

"Thank you." I said. She nodded.

"You leaving Mrs.?" Christopher said while chewing his food.

"I might as well, Charles is home anyway and probably expecting food." I was sure of it.

"Well run along then. Dont keep him waiting." she gestured to the door.

"Thank you very much." I said again. I walked out and to the house. Charles saw me and came my way.

Each step I took my heart raced faster.

"Esme!" he called.

"Yes?" I said.

"Is that dinner?"

I sighed, "Yes it is. Would you like some?"

"Now what kind of stupid question is that?" he said. Once he reached me he snatched the plate and took it inside.

I sat down at the table even though I wasnt eating. He smacked his lips and stared at me.

"Well? What were you doing over there?" he asked scooping up his mashed potatoes.

"They invited me for dinner today...isnt that nice?" I didnt mention that they found me.

He grunted, "Noisy is what they are. Always sticking their nose in others buisness." he snickered and took another bite.

"I guess you could look at it that way."

He ignored me.

"So, what did you do today?"

"Robert needed some help done to his new house so I went to get some wood and help."

I smiled, "Thats very thoughtful."

"Yea...okay," he stuffed his mouth full of green beans.

"Well uh...I was thinking I would go down town tomorow for some gardening things. I was thinking about planting things." I confessed.

He looked up to me, "No your not. We spent enough money as it is Esme and wont be wasteing it on no flowers."

I smiled faintly, " Oh...okay."

He finished his plate so I got up and took it from him, "Lovely dinner." he said.

I smiled and walked to the sink to rinse it off.

"Well...im going outside if you want to come." I knew that he meant for me to join him after I was done washing up.

"Okay Ill be there in a minute."

He nodded and shut the door behind him. As soon as he did I dried of his plate and glass.

"Why?" I asked. I started shaking and grasped the table. Tears rolled down aand I tried to stop them before Charles walked in on it. I wiped my nose and continued to work even though I failed to work the tears back. I sighed when I was through and walked out to meet Charles.

"Sunset, " he said, "I always loved the sunset."

I nodded crossing my arms.

We watched the sunset until it disappeared behind a hill.

"Well," he stratched, "bed time." he said.

"Ill be on the couch tonight dear." I said.

"No you wont. Your with me tonight."

I looked up at him, "But I need to clean. Ill be past out-" he back handed me.

"No excuses, your with me!"

I turned my face back to him. I rubbed my now cut up face from the fresh hit I had recived and not deserved.

"Im going to bed." I said.

"Ill be right there."

I walked upstairs and changed my now damp clothes to pajamas and climbed in bed.

That night was peaceful...but it would be the last.


	6. Chapter 6

chapter 6 +

I stared up at the blue sky, twirling a daisy around my finger.

"I will not shed a tear...for it will be wasted...I will not cry for fear...only for joy...I will not hate another...for it will be a mistake." I sang. My mother sang that to be every night when father was away. He had left to visit his family for a month due to an illness and my nother said I had wasted my tears. Now I know what she meant.

I rolled over on my stomach and looked at my flower. My face twisted.

"If only you had freinds, then you wouldnt wilt." I told it.

I dropped it on the ground and lifted myself up. I wiped off my hands and started back to were I left off.

The Dawns had made a scare crow for me since the last insedent. Said there shouldnt be anymore attacks.

I pulled the overalls on it tighter and fastened it with a clip.

"There." I said finally done. I smiled at what they had done for me. Charles still keeps to what he thinks the are...nosey.

I gathered up some dirt and wiped my hand together. I wiped some under my eye to cover up the hit I had received two days ago.

I sighed and made my way back to the house. Charles was at work so I just fixed some things up. I cleaned the kitchen and starightened up our room. The bathroom was scrubbed for hours and the living room was dusted. I fixed the fence from where it loosened and even tied a swing to the tree.

I smiled at my accomplishments.

"Well then," I said wiping my hands.

I turned and made my way inside again.

I pulled out some things in the cabnet I had recently bought and made dinner.

I light the match and set the oven while stirring a batch of vegtables for the soup. I had taken lessons from Leslie for awhile about cooking. Occationally I would go over to her house and ask for a tip or some help.

I made the batter for the corn bread. I set out a pan and poured the ingredients into it still stirring.

I placed it inside the oven and put the soup on the stove. I kept mixing and humming to myself.

The soup looked just about ready so I placed it to the side. After doing that I went and chopped up some frshly peeled potatoes and set them in a large bowl. I grabbed a tool to help me and mashed them to a white a fluffy goo.

Smelling that the corn bread was ready I then opened the ovent to pull it out. It was perfectly golden to perfection. I also set that next to the soup and pulled out a slice of meat.

This time I made sure it wasnt roast beef. I poured seasoning on it to make it mouth watering. After it was cooled I placed it next to my other dishes.

There was nothing else to do...I ran a list through my head of what to do. I could help out Leslie...but then Charles will see and be upset. I could dust some more...or clean...or set the table.

It clicked and I ran to the closet and pulled out a yellow silk cloth and some red candles.

I draped it over the table and lit the two candles.

"Perfect." I said.

I saw a peice of paper on the table. I went over to throw it away but it gave me an idea.

I should write mother.

Next to it was a pencil so I got started.

_Dearest Mother, _I wrote

_Im so terribly sorry that I havent written you or made any contact for that matter since the wedding. I have been busy here though with Charles. We have a lovely house out here. Its not to far from you so you can come by anytime. Just make sre to warn me so I can make a wealthy dinner._

_Charles says hello by the way. He is at work at this moment but misses you so. Has anything been going on over there? Anything I have missed? Well I must go now. Please do write back soon!_

_Love,_

_Esme_

It hurt to write that since I kne I wouldnt get a letter in return. I hid the letter under the bed so that one day like this I could mail it without Charles knowing.

There was loud thuds coming from downstairs. I raced down to meet Charles at the front door. He kicked off his shoes and came over to me in a strong hug that hurt my ribs.

"Make dinner?" he grumbled.

"Yes...I actually slaved over it."

He snickered, "Well it went to waste. Its awful."

My eyes widdened, "Excuse me?"

"I didnt stutter. This is horrible...awful...miserable. The food is gross."

I was turning hot, "Well I tried very hard to make it all."

"It was worthless." He said stirring the soup.

"But I _tried_."

"Listen...I dont want to hear you cry you understand? Today was a hard working day and I just cant taje it today."

"You never take it." I covered my mouth. His hands were over my throat and backed me against the wall.

"What did you say?" he said through his gritted teeth.

"Nothing." I choked out. He pressed harder.

"No! What did you say?"

"Alright! I said...you never take it." he flung me to the table knocking it over. A candle burnt my hand and I let out a terrible scream.

"SHUT UP! JUST SHUT UP!" he screamed.

I tried to cover my mouth. Tears were rolling down faster and faster. I flung myself to the sink and ran my burnt hand under the cold water.

"Ow!" I said.

He pushed me aside and washed his own hands while mine were burning.

I just stared at him and then to the mess. I walked over and cleaned up what I could trying to hole the tears back some more.

"Im sorry." I apologized.

"God Esme! Dont make such a big mess! Ugh!" he grunted. I lifted the tbale up and smoothed the cloth back out.

"Im so sorry." I said over and over. I threw away the candles and put the cloth back up.

"Esme?"

"Yes?"

"Get to bed."

"What? Why?"

"Becasue I said so now get to bed!"

I jumped back but did as he commanded. I ran upstairs wiping the tears away and changed into my sleeping gown. He walked in very drunk.

"Charles?"

"Just lay down."

I didnt obey and he hit me across the face, "I said lay down!"

I did as he ordered.

"Now...relax," I did as he commanded. I closed my eyes and took in deep breaths.

Then I opened them and sw his hands balled up.

Then there was another pitch black part...again.

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I woke up with a head ache that killed me. I layed useless in bed and told Charles I couldnt move. He gave in this time and let me rest. I swayed back in forth in my bed with what seemed to be a fever. Leslie came over and fed me while I was sick. I was like a sick dog Charles had said.

"Dear your burning up. You must have a fever so I think you oughtta settle down for awhile.

I had it for another day till I was restored but still had a faint throb.

"Better?" Charles asked.

"Yea...why?"

"Becasue my dear," he got up and walked over to me.

"Iam joining the army."


	7. Chapter 7

chapter 7+

I looked at him without a smile and instead a confused face.

He held out a stack of papers and threw them on the table we were at.

"Im drafted to war for WW1." he said. My heart was racing inside. I took the papers he layed down and read them making sure he was lying to me like he usually does.

"Ho...how soon?" I tried to sound sad.

"In two day, " he held up two fingers.

I bit my lower lip and continiued to read.

Dear Mr. Evenson,

The U.S. needs you more than ever and have agreed to send you out. You are going to be drafted on the following date at the following time. Sorry this is such short notice. You will be fighting in the WW1 this year. Your life depends on thousandsof others. Please obey and show up at the following place. Sargent Rud will be hear to pick you up and take you to the proper place. Illness is NO exeption. Until then we will meet you.

sincerely,

general johnson

I skimmed it over and over to get it placed in memory. Charles is leaving...hes really leaving me.

I put my hand to my chest and sank back in my seat.

"Sorry Im leaving you." he said. He didnt sound sorry at all though.

I shook my head, "You have to do what you have to do." I set the papers back on the table.

"Well...I expect that when I come back the place will be cleaned. Dont waste money on things and you will still love me."

I looked around, "I will always love you." It didnt fit.

"Damn right you will." he slammed his hands on the table causing me to jump.

There was a long silence, "Do you want me to get you some coffee?"

"Finally," he grumbled.

I scooted away from the table and made some coffee. I poured cream and sugar in it then stirred.

"Be carefull...its hot." I said.

"I know that! Coffee is _always_ hot." he took a sip and set it down. I crossed my arm.

"Im going to step out side for a moment." I told him.

"As soon as your done come straight back in." he told me like I was a little girl.

"Okay." I walked out the door and sat on the swing I built. I swung back and forth with a smile that was visible to anybody near or far.

"Hes leaving...hes finally leaving." I looked at my bruises and sighed.

I had lived with this monster for 2 months now and Im finally free! I laughed and swung even harder.

"I must tell Mrs. Dawn." I said to myself. But I couldnt since Charles was still home.

I twirled and twisted the swing around laughing and giggling to myself. I breathed in the air of the now fall.

Fall? That was fast! I went back inside for a short moment to retreive my coat, but Charles followed.

"Its cold?" he asked.

"Yes...its fall." I told him. He nodded and walked me outside. We sat on our front porch double swing. He put his arm around me and I layed, very cautiously, my head on his shouder. I sighed.

"Beautiful isnt it?" he asked.

"Hmm?" I was lost in thought about what to do when he was gone.

"The sky. Fall mornings are beautiful." he said. I couldnt beleive _this _was coming out of _his_ mouth.

"Yes it is." I said.

We stayed like that watching everything and talking about some things. I couldnt beleive he was being nice to me.

"Mrs. Evenson? Mrs. Evenson!" called a voice from the feild.

I stood up, "Yes!" I called.

"Letter!" called the voice. I left the porch and walked out and meet the voice half way.

It was Richard, he works in town as the mail man. He was only 15 or so.

"Oh Richard! You _really _didnt need to do this! I was going to head to town in a few days anyway to receive my mail."

His eyes grew warm, "Yes but these were there so long I could hardly wait."

I gave him a tender smile, "Well thank you Richard, your very kind."

I gave him a quick peck on the cheek which made him blush hot red.

"If theres anything I can do for you, you let me know." I told him.

"Yes ma'am, well I better be off. Old Joe hasnt gotten any of his mail either."

I chuckled, "Dont you think his name stands for something? Hes too old."

He smiled, "Yea, but really I dont mind walking out to peoples houses."

"On a fall day? You must be cold."

He shook his head, "No ma'am. Im never really cold. Im use to it."

I nodded my head, "Well alright. But you come back if you do get cold. And dont you dare be afraid or shy to."

"Yes ma'am. Well," he tipped his hat, "good day!" he walked back in the feilds to Old Joe's house.

"Good day." I made my way back up to Charles and stuffed the letters away.

His face was glum. I sat back in my seat and position, "What was all that for?" he asked.

"I received mail. I never went down town to get it though, so he came up here."

"How does he know our address?"

"The letters have our address on it...remember?"

"Yeah...he seems to like you."

"He always had a crush on me. Ever since we moved in this town."

"Is that why you gave him a kiss?" his voice sounded mad.

"I was just thanking him for bringing them up. It was such a long walk you know."

"Yeah sure, I walk farther than that at work and I dont get no kiss."

"When you get home you do."

"Yeah but thats you."

"You expect another woman to thrust herself at you when you walk by and get a kiss?"

"Thats _exactly_ what I want."

I swallowed really hard, "What about me?"

"What _about _you?"

I was silent for a long moment.

"Never mind."

He growled and got up, "Well, me and a bunch of boys are going to celebrate."

My hearts sank and my pulse speed up, "And whe...when are you coming home?"

He shrugged, "Till Im drunk enough." he winked.

I gulped real loud.

"Ill be here."

"Thats right you will." he sneered. I looked up in his eyes but smiled a little.

"Bye." he said and gave me a kiss.

"Good bye." I said.

He got in the wagn and with a slap of the reins he took off.

I looked at the sun then at the house.

I sighed, "Im trapped here for awhile."

I got up slowly because I was sore from all the most recent nights.

I opened the door and went inside to sit on the couch.

"Might as well rest while I still can."

My eyes shut and before I knew it I was asleep.

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The door swung open banging the wall.

"Esme get your butt off that counch!" Charles sneered. He was back...and drunk.

"What time is it?"

"Time for bed." he had an evil grin.

I didnt understand what he was trying to say because I was so tired, so I went up stairs and to bed.

I was lying there when he slammed the door. I looked at him and his drunken self.

"Good night Charles," I managed to say.

"Not yet." he said very low. My eyes snapped open.

He crawled on the bed and layed on top of me.

"Um Charles...not tonight. Im not ready."

He slapped, "Shut up Esme!"

He ripped off my skirt.

"Charles please!" another hit.

"Be.Quiet." he gritted through his teeth.

His lips traveled to mine and his tongue traveled everywhere in it.

I tryed to push back. His pants were off..as was his shirt.

I cried but told myself that it wouldnt be long till he was gone.

I let him have me that night while I cried in pain.

"Isnt this just...nice?" his voice was enjoying it.

I yelped in pain.

He kiss me on my neck and down my arm.

I tried to relax but it was hard with him on me.

I tuned out everything possible while I was being raped.

I shut out every door in my head and paid no attention to what was going on.

Then the next thing I knew...it was morning.

"Thank you lord." I cried.


	8. Chapter 8

chapter 8+

"The suit fits you well." I said straightening it out on him.

I tugged on the edge of his jacket to make it smooth.

"It's suppose to, they measured me yesterday." he said.

My eyebrow raised, "When?"

"You were asleep." he said. I tryed to forget about last night. I was _still_ in pain.

I looked over him, "You have any pens or badges?"

He shook his head, "We earn those in camp."

"Oh," I said.

He grabbed his head and wobbled a little bit. I held him up straight.

"Whats wrong?" I asked.

"Hangover." he said.

"Oh," I said, "Maybe you should lay down."

He didnt argue and I dragged him off the stool and set him on the couch.

"Do you need anything?" I asked.

He took off his shirt and pants, "I need another pair of clothes."

"Okay." I took his uniform and went upstairs to get him some clothes.

I neatly folded them and put them away ina drawer, the tugged on the drawer below it and found some clean clothes.

I went downstairs and gave it to him. He smiled and put them on slowly since he wasnt well.

I sat on the chair across from his couch, "Anything else?"

"Leave me alone." he said.

I nodded and went to the kitchen.

Mother taught me how to make the medicine when people got hangovers.

I opened every cabnet and searched for the ingriedients and plopped them on the counter.

It took me awhile to search for the wooden spoon since it was left in the sink.

I set out a huge pot and started the stove. I placed all the ingriedients in the pot and set it over the stove.

I sang and hummed small tunes while stirring.

"Shut that singing up! Your making my head worse." he complained.

I might as well obeyed him since in the morning he will be better and can punish me.

I walked over and got a large cup and poured the medicine in the glass.

I turned of the stove and went over to Charles with his solution.

"Here Charles," I set the glass in front of him, "this will get rid of your hangover."

He grabbed it very weakly and took a sip. His eyes grew wide and he spit it out everywhere.

"WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO DO? POISON ME?!" he yelled.

"I was just trying to help." I said.

"What _is _this?!" he shouted.

"Its medicine...for your hangover."

"This is no medicine! Its awful."

"Medicine isnt suppose to taste good Charles."

"Well some do!"

"Name one." I challenged.

"That stuff for your stomach."

I was confused," What stuff?"

"Alchohol." he smiled.

I rolled my eyes, "Just drink it, please."

He shook his head and took another sip. He made a face and set it down.

"This better make me better." he said.

I giggled at his use of words. I sighed and went upstairs to our room.

"Were are you going?" he asked.

"Just upstairs for a little while." I said with a smile.

He didnt argue so I went ahead and made my way upstairs.

I shut the door behind me softly and walked over to my drawer.

Underneath a pile of my clothes was the letter Richard gave me yesterday.

I took it out and shoved the drawer back. Then, I went to my bed and tore it open.

It was from mother. I was shocked because I never sent my other letter.

_Dearest Esme, _she wrote

_I have heard some complants from your freinds about your relationship. I hope it is going fine. Everything down here is fine, but Im afraid Thomas is being drafted to war. He is upset that he has to leave Rebecca but is sure he will return. I heard great news that Sara Beth is pregnant and is expecting very soon. It is a little girl and is named after you, how nice. Blake managed to stay after some talking to. Your father is sick right now but wishes for me to tell you hello and he loves you. _

_Now, going back to Charles. There were complaints about yelling and even finding you in the feild. If this is the case...listen to what Im saying. Be a good wife and dont tell a soul, you will regret it. Just stay quit and maybe this will be just a phase. He is truley a fine man and just doesnt know how to express it dear._

_Well, I taking up alot of room from this small peice of paper. Do right back and remember to stay quit._

_With Love,_

_Mother_

I put my hand to my mouth letting tears roll down my cheek and neck.

Sweet, sweet Thomas is going to war! He was always there for me and Rebecca. He would never harm a thing and now they're taking him away!

Mother told me to stay quit about Charles. I cant beleive this!

The only good thing about this letter was Sara Beth having a child named after me. Or fixing to.

I folded it up biting my lip. I sniffed a couple of times and set it back in the drawer.

The pillow welcomed me to it so I could cry on it. And I did just that.

**Sorry this story is short but there was nothing else to write. Just Charles tossing and turning downstairs in agony ha ha! Charles is in pain! but the next chapter should be better since he is leaving! yay lets celebrate! ha ha, anyway im sorry if this was sad but for now nothing is perfect for Esme as we know. Chapter 9 should be up sooner than you think! REVIEW!**


	9. Chapter 9

chapter 9+

He held me in his arms for the longest moment and then sat me down.

"Ill write you." he said with a smile.

"Okay." I said.

I looked behind him at Sergant Rud awaiting for Charles, then back.

"I need to go now." he said. I nodded once.

He looked at Leslie and Christopher behind me with a smile, "Ill miss you guys!"

Leslie smiled, "We will miss you too Mr. Evenson."

"Now you take care of my Esme!" he played.

Christopher smiled, "Of course we will." he put a hand on my shoulder.

He sighed and looked at me, "I dont want to leave you."

"As do I." I lied. I was ready for him to leave so bad!

He leaned in and kiss me with as much force and passion as possible.

"Goodbye, Esme." he said and wiped a tear off my face. I was so happy but he took it the other way.

"Goodbye." I said.

He looked at me one last time and then the Dawns. He turned on his heel and followed Sergant Rud.

They hopped in the 1917 Jeffery car **(A/N: I looked up the cars in 1917 and found this!)**and buckled up.

I waved to him as he sped off to war and away from me. I kept loking at him with tears in my eyes till he was out of sight.

I grabbed my chest and looked up at the sky, "Thank you! Oh thank you lord!"

Leslie looked confused, "Honey? Whats wrong?"

I looked at her and wiped my tears with a smile, "Im free Leslie...Im free!"

She looked at me as if I had lost it, "Usually when woman's husbands leave to war they cry and get all depressed."

I laughed, "Come on, lets go inside."

It was snowing and I didnt want her to be cold.

"You want me to fix you something?" I asked.

"Oh no! No, no, no, no! _I'll_ cook today Mrs." she said.

She pulled out supplys and started cooking.

I sat at the table and looked around with a smile.

'Why are you looking like that?" Leslie asked.

"Oh Leslie, is it so bad to be happy?" I asked.

"Well, I guess I would agree if I knew _why_."

I sighed, "Charles use to...well...abuse me."

Leslie stopped stirring and looked at me. Christopher dropped the paper.

"Did you say...abuse?" she said angry.

I nodded. She sat the spoon down and kicked off her heels.

"Oh! That old man is gonna be happy he's gone!" she said charging for the door.

"Leslie what in the world are you doing?" Christopher said.

"Im gonna show that pretty boy a peice of my mind!" she said shaking her fist.

"Go ahead, run 500 miles to catch up and tell me how it goes." Christopher said.

She looked at him and grabbed her spoon and womped him on the head.

"Ouch! What did I do?!" he said.

"I may not get him now...but when he gets back..." she shook her head and kept cooking.

"Dont worry about it." I said.

"How long has this been going on Esme?" Christopher asked.

"Since the day we were married and moved in."

Leslie shook her head, "And you didnt do anything about it?"

"What could I do?" I shrugged,"He was stronger."

"Oh child if it was me," she held up her fist a pretended to punch someone, "he'd think twice before he tried again."

I laughed.

"See what Im living with?" Christopher said.

She bopped him on the head again, "Ow! What did I do?!"

"Did you tell your parents?" Leslie asked.

"No, somebody already told her."

'What did she say?" Christopher asked.

"Just to be a good wife and stay quit," I imitated my mothers voice, "'Maybe in the future it will be just a phase'"

Leslie kept shaking her head, "And just think! Before he left he _actually_ hugged you with the same arm he hit you with!"

"Hey! That day you were in the feild was that really crows?" Christopher asked looking at me. Leslie turned around and looked at me also.

I was silent and blushed, they took that as a yes.

"You poor thing. All those scrapes. And we werent there to pull him off you!" Leslie banged her spoon on the edge of the pan to get the scraps off the spoon.

"Why didnt you tell us?" Christopher asked.

"I was afraid I guess. Charles will think somethings up if Leslie is jumping all over him out of the blue."

She nodded her head, "Shes got a point." she pulled the chicken out of the oven and shredded it.

I laughed, I could see Charles coming over to say hello and then she jumps on his back.

"Well Esme...uh...now that we know it wasnt those crows attacking you...can I have my sons project back?"

Leslie wacked him real hard, "Dang woman!"

"For the last time that is not Franks project!" she said.

"Well it looks like it." he mummbled. Leslie was fixing to wack him till Christopher held up his hands.

"Kidding!" she turned back and dumped the chicken on the crust.

"You have kids?"

They were silent.

"He's adopted." Leslie said.

"How old is he?" I asked.

"Hes 19," Cristopher said.

"Well, lets invite him over!" I said cheerfully.

Leslie chuckled, "I would but...he got drafted."

I could tell this was a tender subject to her, "Oh...Im sorry."

"Its okay...you didnt know." Christopher said. How was I suppose to know?

"Dinners ready!" Leslie sang.

Christopher rubbed his hands together, "Mmm...smells good, what is it?"

"Chicken and dumplings...family secret." she said.

She sat it on the table and past out plates and silverware.

I got a slice and took a bite, "Leslie! This is wonderful!"

"Thank you child." she said.

"You didnt make cornbread?" Christopher asked.

"Nobody suggested it." she said.

"Im hurt...I thought you knew!" he said placing a han over his heart.

"Oh your so funny." Leslie said sarcastically.

I sweeped the last bite in my mouth and got seconds.

"Lord! You must be hungry!" she said.

I nodded, "Yes ma'am!"

She shoved the whole meal to me, "We are full, you have the rest."

Christopher lifted his head, "But-"

"_We are full_" she said. Christopher pouted and mumbled something.

"Oh no its okay! I dont need all of this." I said.

"No, no! Really its fine. We have plenty at the house." she smiled.

I shrugged, "Well...if you insist."

"We do." Christopher said.

I dug in and finsihed the whole thing in minutes.

When I was done I held my stomach and leaned back in my chair.

"Full?" Leslie asked taking my plate.

"Stick a fork in her, shes done!" Christopher said.

She washed up our dishes.

We went to the living room and talked.

We were laughing in no time.

"You guys are crazy!" I said laughing.

"Well, thats why we are married." she said.

They talked about how they meet and about their past which wasnt to long ago.

I served them ice tea and we watched outside.

"Oh its beautiful!" Leslie said looking out the window.

The snow had covered the ground.

"Now how are we going to get home?" Christopher said.

I perked up, "You can stay here for tonight. I can sleep on the couch and you can take my bed."

"Oh that wont be necessary." Leslie said.

"Oh but I insist! Youve taken care of me so much." I said. And they have.

"No sweetheart." Leslie said.

"Leslie I mean it! You are ging to sleep upstairs and I will be down here. Im use to it!"

She looked mad, "He put you down here?"

"No..._I _put myself down here." I smiled.

"Well, if you insist." Christopher said. He patted Leslies back.

"Come on Les...bed time." he said.

We were all tired from tonight.

She stretched and got up, "Lets go."

They went upstairs after giving me a hug and said good night.

I got out some extra blankets and two pillows and laid on the couch.

I smiled thinking of how peaceful this was.

I was free...finally.

**I love this chapter. For one thing you get to see how Leslie and Christopher really act. And secondly, Charles isnt here to ruin it! Yay! Well chapter 10 will be up sooner than you think! hope you enjoyed it so far. REVIEW!**


	10. Chapter 10

chapter 10+

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY LESLIE!" me and Christopher screamed. It was her 39th birthday.

She fell out of her bed in shock and bumped her head on the night stand.

"What in the world!" she yelled getting back up to her feet. She held her head in her hands.

Once she saw me holding a cake she smiled, but when she saw Christopher her face went red.

"I told you not to celebrate my birthday!" she screamed.

"But Leslie-" he whined.

"No but's!" she said. She turned to me and smiled.

"Esme honey, thank you for the cake. It looks delicious." she turned to Christopher.

"And you!" she smacked his arm.

"Ow! I helped with the cake." he complained.

"_Thats_ for forgetting my suggestion!" she said.

I giggled and followed Leslie to her kitchen along with sulking Christopher.

"I cant _beleive_ its 1918 already. I mean I turn my back for one second and poof!" she said.

I chuckled lightly which got Leslie's attention.

'What is it?" she asked.

"You know when Charles said he would write me? Well I never got a letter." I said.

She mumbled something under her breath like "stupid undiserving monster" I smiled.

"What is today?" Christopher asked.

"My birthday." Leslie said sitting down with a cup of coffee.

"No, like the date." he asked.

"Well you should know..._its my birthday_." she said.

"Its November 29th Christopher." I answered.

"Oh yea!" he said.

Leslie rolled her eyes and took a sip of coffee.

"Goodness gracious! My hair is a mess!" Leslie said feeling her short red hair.

"You just woke up Leslie calm down." Christopher said flipping through the news paper.

"I think it looks fine." I offered.

She smiled, "Thank you Esme."

Christopher grunted while reading the paper.

"What is it?" Leslie asked.

"Spanish influenza...its killed alot of people." he said.

"Oh dear, is it heading this way?" I asked.

He shook his head, "Im not sure. Probably not."

"You also said that you wouldnt celebrate my birthday." Leslie complained.

I bit my lower lip trying not to laugh.

Leslie shivered, "My goodness its cold!"

I looked over and saw that I had forgot to close the window when I set out the cake to cool.

"Oh Leslie Im sorry!" I said.

I got up and shut the window.

"Oh honey you didnt have to do that!" she said.

"Im the one that opened it." I told her when I sat down.

"Well, whats done is done." she said.

"You done with that?" I asked Christopher about the news paper.

He looked at me, "Oh sure, sure."

He handed me the paper, "Thank you." I said.

"Your welcome." he got up and got himself a cup of coffee.

I read about the influenza...it was terrible. Many people got hit by it in Chicago the most by the secod wave.

I shook my head and set it aside, I didnt want to read anymore.

"Well, I must be heading home." I said getting up.

"Well okay. Come back when you feel like it." Leslie said eating a slice of cake.

"Good bye Christopher." I waved.

He turned around, "Bye Esme!"

I put on my coat and wrapped my scarf around my neck then headed out.

It was a cold November morning so I kept my arms across my torso really tight to keep warm.

My breath was visible everytime I exhaled.

I tucked my chin under my turtle neck.

I was thinking of Charles. Maybe he was dead. Maybe thats why he never wrote. I visited the post office every morning,besides today and other holidays, but all there was were letters from Sara and mother.

Sara had born Esme Madison Johnson on Febuary 12,1918. I smiled when I received the photos.

I opened the door to my warm and now freindly house.

I took off and coat and scarf and headed to the shower.

I turned the knob to the far right so it was steam hot, then back off when it filled the tub.

I tore off my clothes and sank into the tub.

I reached over and got the shampoo, then placed a amout of it on my palm then ran it through my hair. After that I dunked my head in the water to rinse it off. I did the same thing for my conditioner. Then, I scraped the rasberrie scented soap all over me then rinsed off.

I saw that I was done so I unplugged the tub and wrapped up in a fluffy towel.

I walked to my room, not ours, and pulled out a pair of clothes. After drying off I changed into them and towel dried my hair.

I looked in the mirror for any flaws but smiled to my sucess. Now that Charles was gone my bruises and cuts werent visible...and there wasnt fresh ones.

After that I went downstairs and out the door to my car.

There in the drive way was my black car that wasnt too bad after you kicked it to start.

I buckled up and pulled out. I went down the road and into the town.

I passed many trees and houses with people waving at me and I wabed back politely.

There was a huge sign that read Ursela's Floral Shop.

_What the heck? Not like Charles can stop me._ I thought.

I pulled in and got out.

I opened the door and set the bell off.

A teenage girl was sitting behind the desk. She had long black curly hair and light brown eyes. She had a beautiful structure and was tan.

She smiled, "Hello."

"Hi." I said looking around.

"Can I help you with anything?" she asked.

I looked at her, "No...not right now."

She nodded, "Oh okay. Well if you do then just ask for Amanda."

"Okay, thank you." I said.

I walked around and stared at every flower.

There was a bag of pink and white tulip seeds that caught my eye.

I covered my mouth with my hand while smiling.

I had $10, so that should get a four of each. On my way up I took a small bag of soil and set it on the counter.

Amanda typed in the prices, "$7.89"

I gave her my money and she gave me the change.

"Thank you." i said while gathering my stuff.

"Your welcome. Come back anytime!" she called once I was out.

I set them in the car seat beside me and started the car.

Mother always said that planting stuff in the cold weather was the best becuse it was in the soil the longest.

I looked at all the passing stores and managed to get out before I stopped and splurged the money.

The girls that were once out playing in the snow when I went to town were inside now.

I pulled in the drive way and got out my stuff.

I dragged it inside and set it next to the stairs.

"There." I said wiping my hands.

I went to the kitchen and poured a glass of orange juice and gulped it down.

I walked over to the window to peek outside.

Tomorow I would have to pull some weeds to plant the tulips in.

I sighed and walked back to the kichen to rinse out my glass.

I sat down on the couch and began writing a letter to mother.

I told her that Charles was drafted a year ago and I havent heard from him ever since. I also told her about how I used her tip and planted the tulips in winter. I was sure she would be proud. I finally finsihed it up with telling father I said hello and to give him my love.

I folded it up and set it in the mailbox.

Since I was already outside I decided to pull as many weeds as I could.

It took me along time and I struggled a few times but I managed.

I went back inside and pulled out the soil and poured it in the places I wanted the tulips to grow.

I wiped my forhead and got out the seeds and a watering can.

I made a hole using a table spoon and plopped each seed in the hole.

I had a need row of tulips that I put in a pattern. As soon as I finished that I watered them and even gave it fertilizer that I kept from Leslie.

I went back inside and washed my hands.

After that I put the stuff up and went back inside to warm up.

I layed on the couch shivering till I felt I could go to bed.

It was dark and I was tired so I kicked off my shoes using my heel and went up to bed.

I wore a long gown tonight and snuggled up with the sheets. I curled into a ball to get warmer.

No later I was in a deep peaceful sleep...I was very thankful


	11. Chapter 11

chapter 11+

"5...4...3...2...1...HAPPY NEW YEAR!" we shouted.

We watched the seconds tick by till it finally reached 12:00.

Leslie took a long sip of Champagne while Christopher had Scotch.

"Happy New Year Leslie!" I said.

"Happy New Year Esme!" she screamed.

We waited for Christopher to say something but he fell back on the couch drunk and knocked out.

Leslie laughed, "Oh poor Christopher!"

She locked my arm and ran outside screaming.

We fell down laughing and starring at the snow beside us.

I scooped up a big blob of it and smashed it in Leslie's face.

She freaked out and I laughed. She did the same back to me and in no time we started a war.

We ran around with smiles on our face till we fell down laughing.

We starred at the stars and she spoke up, "Esme?"

"Hmm?" I said.

"No matter what...I want you to know that your a really good friend and woman."

I smiled, "You are too Leslie."

She turned over and gave me a hug then let go.

I looked at her drunk face and it had a evil smile on it.

"What are you doing?" I asked.

She got up never leaving my site.

I smiled, "Leslie what on earth are you doing?"

She ran off into the feilds...or at least thats what I think.

My smile faded, "Leslie?!" I called.

I turned around everywhere and even walked off.

"Leslie were are you?" I called.

There was no response, "Leslie come on!"

Silent. My heart raced.

"LESLIE!" I said louder.

I freaked out and ran to her house. I shook Christopher.

"Christopher! Christopher wake up!" I said.

He woke up still tired, he squinted his eyes to see me, "Whats wrong?"

"Its Leslie." I said.

"What about her? Is she going to bed?" he sluthered.

"I.Cant.Find.Her." I said.

His eyes widened and he got up. He skipped putting on his jacket and ran outside.

"Leslie!" he cupped his hands over his mouth and yelled.

"Come on Leslie!" he screamed.

There was nothing but silence.

"Whens the last time you saw her?"

"We had a snow fight and she disappered."

He shook his head.

"LESLIE!" he called louder.

"Was she drunk?" he asked.

I nodded. His eyes widened.

"LESLIE! LESLIE NO MORE GAMES!" he sreeched.

A tear ran from my face, "Leslie." I said faintly.

My former best freind was missing.

There was all of a sudden a loud crash.

"LESLIE! LESLIE NO!" I screamed.

I ran as fast as I could to the sound.

"NO!" Christopher called. He sped past me.

I saw my car crashed into a tree...and inside was drunk Leslie.

I dropped to my knees, "No."

He ran and picked her up. She was bleeding from the top of her head.

"Oh god! Please no!" he cried.

I built up my strength and went by his side.

"Is she okay?"

He shook his head, "Her pulse is faint."

My eyes widened, "WELL THEN WHY ARE WE HERE? GET HER IN THE CAR!"

He carried her in his arms and ran to their car.

I was nearly blinded by my tears and I couldnt run straight but I faught for my freind.

He set her in the back of the car and started towards the hospital.

I held onto her hand the whle way trying to talk to her.

We pulled in the hospital and the lights where on.

Christopher picked her up and carried her inside.

I busted the doors open, "Please! We need your help!"

A startled nurse came over immediatly.

"Whats wrong?" she asked.

"My freind hit her head in a crash...her pulse is faint." I explained.

The nurse nodded once, "Get Dr. Hunter." she told the nurse beside her.

"Just set her down over here." she instructed.

We sat her on a flat surface.

"Christopher?" Leslie mummered.

"Im right here darling...Im right here." he cried.

I wiped my tears.

I heard loud foot steps coming our way.

"What do we have here?" said the doctor.

"My freind crashed and hit her head." I said.

He shook his head and gathered her up, "Ill take it from here. You two stay in here for awhile."

We obeyed his commands and stayed in the lobbey.

I sat on the long couch resting my spinning head while Christopher sat in a recliner tapping his fingers on the leather. Evey now and then we would peak up at the clock.

"You think shes okay?" he asked.

I nodded, "She's a strong lady. She should be fine."

There was silence, "Listen Christopher...Im sorry."

He shook his head, "You did nothing wrong."

"Oh yes I did...I didnt watch her like I should have."

"She were drunk."

"Thats no excuse." I said through my teeth.

A long moment later the doctor walked in, me and Christopher were on our feet.

"Shes going to be okay." he said.

I sighed and Christopher fell back in the chair.

"May we see her?" I asked.

"Yes." he said and told us her room.

I walked in and shut the door behind me. Leslie squinted her eyes and saw me,

"Esme? Is that you?"

I smiled, "Yes."

She moaned, "Whats wrong?" I asked.

"Hangover." she said. I smiled.

"Never let me have alchohol anymore!" she said.

"Oh we wont." Christopher said.

She laughed, "Er...sorry about your car."

"Its okay." I said, "As long as your okay."

She smiled, "Im getting tired."

"Me too." I said.

"Me three." Christopher said.

We all laughed and gathered on her bed.

We were out like a light a little bit later.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**later in the winter of 1919**

I was pinning up laundry in the winter sun. I didnt mind the cold.

I smiled so wide...I still havent gotten a letter frm Charles so I made a theory that he was dead.

It was sad at first but when I thought about all the privleges I had I smiled wider and wider.

I heard footsteps coming my way but didnt pull the sheet out of my way to see, I already knew it was Leslie.

"Im over here Leslie." the steps stopped then continued.

"I didnt know you were coming so soon today. I was sure you went to town earlier." I said.

There wasnt an answer.

"Did you buy anything? You came back so soon I-" I stopped in the middle of my sentence.

It wasnt but a mintue ago she had left. She _couldnt _be back this fast.

If it wasnt Leslie or Christopher...then who was it.

Then a hand reached up and unpinned my clip that held the sheet up.

The sheet fell to the ground and standing 2 inches away from my face was Charles.

My heart stopped.

"Hello Esme." he said evily.


	12. Chapter 12

chapter 12+

"Ch...Charles...what are you doing home?" I said my voice breaking.

"Oh honey...you didnt really think I would last over there now did you?" he said.

"I dont know." I said. I bit my lip trying not to cry. I was having such a good time till he came.

I closed my eyes and re-opened them to see if this was a dream.

But it wasnt, Charles was still there with his beast like smile and eyes. His uniform was on him and I noticed he had recived a pin.

"How did you leave?" I asked.

"It took awhile but...they let me go." he said brushing his hands through his hair after he lifted his hat off.

"Are you staying?" I asked.

"Esme, Esme. So many questions. Cant you just stick with Im glad your home?"

I nodded, "Im sorry. Its just short noticed you know."

He stroked my renewed face, "Your still the same."

"Did you expect me to change?" I said with a smile.

"I was hoping not." he said. I was hoping he wasnt the same though.

He forced me to his lips and made sure I stayed there.

"Oh darling I missed you." he said when he broke for that split moment.

His tongue traveled in my mouth while I was frozen in the spot.

"Did you miss me?" he asked.

"Very much." I said.

He was fixing to pull me back to his kiss till I spoke, "Why didnt you write me?"

He stopped to my sucess, "Didnt have the chance I guess."

He looked around the house, "You planted tulips?"

"Yes I bought-" he slapped me. I fell to the ground. It hurt worse than ever since I havent felt it in a long time.

"I told you not to waste any money on any flowers! Dang woman you dont listen!" he said.

I struggled to get up, "I see you havent changed."

He lifted me up from my collar and held my throat in his strong hand and slammed me against the house.

"What is _that_ suppose to mean?!" he growled.

"I didnt mean it!" I choked.

He threw me down like a rag doll. I gasped for air that it sounded like I had almost drowned.

"Damn right! Get yourself up and fix me some dinner!" he demanded.

I rolled over and slowly tried to get up but it wasnt fast enogh for Charles.

He extended his foot back then kicked me with force in the rib. I screamed in pain.

"Shut up!" he shouted.

I gasped for air and tried my hardest to get up.

I ran inside and pulled out some food.

I felt something ooze on my arm, I looked and saw blood.

"Oh shoot!" I said. I gathered up some paper towels and wiped it off as much as I could.

"Dont you dear bleed over my food!" Charles said.

I stepped away from the food and continued to wipe.

"What are you doing? Fix my supper!" he said.

"Im going to after Im done!" I said frustrated.

He stood up and made his way over to me, "Speak to me like that one more time Esme Evenson and yull regret it."

"I was just answering you."

"I wasnt _asking_ anything!" he said.

I rubbed at the cut furiously. I peeked behind his shoulder to see if Leslie and Christopher was home...no dice.

"Im almost through, please Charles."

"I come home to this house, starved from no food. I fought in a war for two years! And this is the thanks I get!"

"What have I done to you!"

"I ask for a simple dinner and I cant even get that!"

"You cut me Charles!"

"And?"

"And I have to heal it! If it bleeds in your food then ugh!-" he hit me causing me to bang my head on the table.

"God!" I scream. I rolled around everywhere.

I saw that the Dawns were finally home. Charles stood over me with murderous eyes. He leaned down really close to me face, "_Nobody_ speaks to me like that...not _now_...not _ever_!" he slapped me once more.

I fumbled a little but I raced out the door.

I ran with everything I had. He came racing to me, "Esme!"

I didnt turn around and had the since of de'ja vu.

I speed up and ran to the Dawns.

I slammed into their door but opened it as hard as I could.

I slammed on their couch with force and took in deep breaths with fear.

I looked around for the Dawns but heard and saw nothing...oh no.

Charles stepped in with a smile, "You thought they were home didnt you?"

I didnt reply.

"DIDNT YOU!" he screamed.

"YES!" I screamed back.

His face turned hot with anger. He walked over and dragged the couch I was on closer to him.

"Get home...now." he said really deep.

"Charles I-"

"NOW!" he screamed in my face.

"Or else we'll settle this here." he said. I looked around thought of what he would do. Either way I didnt want to ruin their lovely house.

I got up and went back to the house with Charles' arm around my waist making sure I wouldnt make a move to run off.

Charles brought his car back and I was hoping he wouldnt ask about mine.

He threw me in the house, "Get upstairs."

"But Im not tired."

He smiled, "I didnt say we were sleeping."

I gulped but went upstairs.

Once we were in the bedroom he locked the door behind him and turned to me.

"Get ready." he said.

"But dont I get dressed in the bathroom?"

He laughed, "Not today."

He took off his jacket and hat then undid his belt.

"Uh Charles...shouldnt we be discussing this?"

"Whats there to discuss about?"

I gulped. He came over and unbuttoned my blouse showing my bare chest.

He starred at it a moment too long.

He then anxiously tore off my skirt and threw me on the bed.

I noticed his pants and shirt were off.

I yelped, "Please dont."

"I was away from you for 2 years now Esme. Thats been too long."

Then he began and I yelped and tugged away but only made a worse and worse mistake.

Then I thought about it...I only have my heaven temporarily.


	13. Chapter 13

chapter 13+

**one week later**

I sat over the toilet vomiting up everything.

"Good greif Esme...what did you eat?" Leslie asked.

"Thats the point," I vomited, "I _didnt_ eat anything."

"Lord have mercy. We need to take you to the doctor!"

I nodded, "I think so."

"How long has this happened?"

"Since yesterday. But my stomach feels fine."

She dragged me down stairs.

"Thats strange." she said.

"Christopher Im taking Esme to the doctor!" she called out.

"Whats wrong with her?" he asked.

"Shes been puking."

"So?"

"Her stomach doesnt hurt."

There was a silence, "Okay!" he called.

We went ot her car since Charles was away for awhile.

"Where is your husband?" she asked.

"Visiting his parents." I leaned over the edge and threw up.

"Has he been causing any problems?" she said seriously.

"Hes changed." I lied. She took it though.

"Oh...okay." she said.

She started the car and we sped off to the doctor. I havent visited him in awhile, so I guess this would be the punishment for doing so.

We past people starring at me with grossened eyes as I vomited.

She parked in the front of the place and we hoped out.

We opened the door and walked in. There was a bunch of people in the waiting room.

I tried to tune out the churning in my stomach.

Leslie pulled me to a nurse behind the desk.

"Hi my name is Leslie and the girl hanging onto my arm is named Esme. You see...shes been vomiting alot lately and uh...feels fine."

The nurse stared at her, "And?"

"Woman dont make me go off on you! I need to see the doctor right away!"

The nurses eyes widened, "Yes ma'am. Sign here." she said handing her a pin.

"Thank you." Leslie said.

I sat on a chair for 5 minutes till they called my name.

"Right this way." they said.

I went into a room with a brown cot and a thin peice of crumbly paper on it.

I sat down but the woman said I needed to put on a robe looking thing.

I went to the bathroom and changed then came back.

The doctor was already in the room smiling.

"Hello Mrs., "he looked at his papers, "Evenson."

I smiled.

"Lets see whats wrong here."

I sat back down and he started with the questions.

"So vomiting when your stomach doesnt hurt eh?"

I nodded.

His face twisted the looked up to mine,"When was te last time you had your period?"

"Last month."

"So that was near the end or so?"

I nodded. His eyes widened.

"We need to take you to a diffrent room."

I sighed and followed him to another room.

He put on gloves and told me to lay down.

"Have you had physical contact with anyone Esme?"

"Yes." I shuddered.

"When was that?"

"A week ago."

He sighed, "I see."

Leslie took my hand, "Relax honey." she said.

**moment later**

I felt violated! No...much more than that! If there was anything more.

I sat with Leslie by my side, "What in the world just happened!"

She sighed, "He was checking to see if you were pregnant."

My hearts raced, "Oh no..."

The doctor walked in with a smile.

"Good news Esme."

"Yes?" I sounded terrified...I was.

"You are pregnant!"

I nearly fainted right then and there but Leslie kept a strong grip.

"How far away?"

"Oh its nothing right now so your just begining! Isnt it wonderful?"

"Thrilling." I sat up and walked to retreive my clothes from the nurse with a pale face.

"Whats wrong dear?" the nurse asked.

I shook my head, "Nothing."

I walked away in silence and put my clothes on.

I gave the nurse back the clothing I had to wear and walked with Leslie out to the car and away.

I was silent for the whole trip.

"Isnt it great!" she said.

I shook my head.

"What?" she asked.

"I cant Leslie! I cant bring the child home to a monster!"

"What do you mean?"

"You know how Charles is! He will not only beat me...but the child also!"

She frowned, "I thought you said he changed?"

"Oh he'll never change Leslie!" I said.

She shook her head, "He raped you!"

I was silent.

"Esme he raped you!"

"I let it happen!"

She was silent.

"I have to go."

"Go? Go where?"

"I dont know. But this child will not be born here! It will live a happier life than me!"

"Do you have a direction?"

"Not really."

"Is there a family member you trust and is far away?"

I perked up, "Yes...yes there is."

"We'll dicuss this when we get home." she promised.

No later we were in her drive way and in her house laying out the cards of our plans.

"Okay, who is the family member and where does she live?"

I thought, "I could go to Scarlet in New Hamshire."

"Too far away."

"Yea I never really liked her anyway."

"Anybody?"

A light came on, "Sara Beth!"

"Who?"

"Sara Beth...shes my second cousin and second best friend." I smiled.

"Where does she live?"

"Milawakee." I said.

"When are you leaving?"

I bit my lip, "In a few weeks."

"But that will be New Years."

"I know."

She smiled, "He will be out drinking!"

I smiled, "Now your catching on."

"Okay heres the whole plan...on New Years Charles will be out drinking. So while hes away, you will sneak to Sara Beths!"

"How do I get there?"

"You can take my car."

"But how will you get around?"

"Christopher saved up enough to buy another car."

"Oh."

"Anyway there will be rules."

"Rules?"

"Yes rules. You will get up there to Sara Beth and stay there. You will explain. You can let anybody know were you are. If so move somewhere else. I will give you money for your own place and-"

"No I can take care of myself."

"You will take the money and you will spend it on a wealthy home you hear?"

I nodded.

"Good..now, make yourselfan alias if you have to just _dont get caught_."

"Your are a master mind."

She smiled, "Why thank you."

"Just one thing."

"Yes?"

I looked at her seriously, "Do you have wigs I could borrow?"


	14. Chapter 14

chapter 14+

"New Years Eve!" I sang in the kitchen.

"Yea it is, "he folded down the paper and looked at me, "Whats it to you?"

I smiled, "A new year." A new life.

He grunted and went back to reading the news paper.

"Supper?"

"Yea sure, but Im leaving in awhile." I smiled to myself.

"Where to?"

"Its New Years Eve. Were do you go on New Years Eve?"

"Drinking?" I asked.

"Yup." he said.

I sat a plate of food in front of him and made sure he enjoyed every bite.

"Like it?"

"Its okay...not the best." he said.

I cleared my throat and got up.

"Youve been packing on some pounds there havent you?"

I grabbed my stomach, "Yes."

"You need to go on some diet thingy then."

I smiled, "Ill try that." the onlt diet I could get was an abortion...AND IM NOT GETTING ONE!

"Well," he wiped his mouth, "I better be going."

I smiled and took his plate, "Okay...Ill see you when you get home." I lied.

He kissed my damaged cheek and headed out.

I rinsed off the plate and listened for his truck to turn on and fade out in the distance.

There was a sudden roar f the truck and he pulled out.

I smiled and dried the plates.

I ran over to see the truck leaving and flew upstairs.

I threw the suit case on the bed and packed every single thing of mine and tossed it over my shoulder.

I crammed $104 in my shoe so nobody would steal it and flew down the stairs.

Before I went outside I placed all the pictures of me and Charles in the fireplace and threw away all of my letters. I kicked the door open and ran to Leslie's house.

She was waiting on the porch jumping up and down from the cold.

I threw the suit case in the back of the car and went inside.

"Okay, here are some wigs and make up just in case. My adress is in the make up bag and you know my name."

I smiled, "Thank you so much Leslie."

"But there is one more thing, wait here." I stood still and she came back with a ticket.

"What is this?"

"This my dear, is a ticket for you to ride to Milewakee on the train."

I smiled at her, "Why did you do this?"

"I said what the heck? We can keep our car and you can be free."

"Im confused."

"I will ride with you to the train station so when you leave I will have my car. I sent a letter last week to Sara Beth saying you were coming for a visit and you will explain later."

"Thanks." I roled my eyes.

"No problem, so anyway. Since she received it, you will have a ride to her house from her."

"How does she know to pick me up?"

"I, or you, told her to do so."

"Oh."

"So then when your down there," she gave me a roll of cash, "You will buy a car for any reason."

I stuck the roll in my other shoe.

"So there for if indeed you do need to move you can because you have the car."

"I get it." I said.

"Now, lets get strarted."

"Hold on, I need to say goodbye first."

"Okay."

I walked over to Christopher who starred at us the whole time and gave him a hug.

"Thank you so much...for everything."

He smiled," You take care of yourself and that baby now you hear?"

I nodded, "Well...goodbye."

"Goodbye Esme."

I turned away before anything else went wrong.

I ran to the car because it was getting sunset.

Leslie took the wheel and drove to the train station.

"Now you understand right? Everything is as clear as a bell?"

"Yes."

"No probleams then?"

"No probalems."

"Alright, I better not hear that you have returned to Charles got it?"

"Got it."

"Okay."

She was very serious today. She really wanted me to be happy I guess. I smiled at her and held her hand.

"Thank you Leslie...you really are there for me."

"Well, you were there that time I wrecked your car when I was drunk." we both laughed.

"Im glad your okay."

We were silent for the rest of the way.

I saw a big sign that said we were a half of a mile from the station.

She turned in a road and squeezed my hand.

"This is it." she said.

I took in a deep breath.

People were scattered everywhere from where we parked.

I got out my suit case and my heart was racing.

"Give me your ticket." she held out er hand.

I placed the ticket in the palm of her hand and she went to a person.

"Second section, third train." he said.

She smiled, "Thank you." and he stamped it.

She moved me out of the way and turned to me with tears.

"Im going to miss you!" she gave me a hug.

"Its only for now. Ill write and even visit one day."

She kept crying in my shoulder.

"Now all this crying is maiking me nervous!" She let go of me and wiped her tears.

"Now then...please dont cry." I said.

"Esme, you will be a great mother...I know you will. Raise that child and love it."

I smiled, "I can assure you I will."

She smiled, "Here." she gave me a hankercheif.

"Something to remember me by." it had her initials sown in it.

"I will always remember you!" I gave her one last hug.

She let go, 'You need to get on your triain now."

I nodded furiously.

"Well, goodbye." she said.

"Goodbye Leslie." I said.

I gave her my locket with a photo of me and curled it in her hands.

'Something to remember me by." I turned on my heela nd raced away with my suit case and ticket.

I went to my train and a lasy punched a hole in it.

I wiped a tear that escaped and sat down in a seat next to a woman.

I looked out my window and saw Leslie had left.

I leaned my head back in the seat and watched people file in.

Once they were seated a man came over the speaker, "Welcome to The Express. Our destination for today is Milwaukee, Wisconsin. So sit back and ebjoy the veiw...and one more announcement...Happy New Years."

I smiled and drifted off to sleep.

**13 hours later**

I woke to a woman gently tapping my shoulder.

"Is your stop Milwaukee?"

"Yes ma'am."

She smiled, "Well get your things...were here."

I stretched and got up from my seat. I retreived my bags an stepped off the train.

I looked around and saw Sara Beth with a huge grin on her face.

I ran over and gave her a huge hug.

"Its so great to see you!" she said.

"Its great to see you too!" I said.

"Wow, you must be tired."

"A little bit." I said.

"Well lets get you home then."

She walked me to her car and I put my things in the back.

The whole ride home she updated me with news I havent heard or have already.

We reached her home and she showed me my room.

It was across te bathroom like the one at home.

I put my things up and changed to my pajamas.

I sneeked under the covered and layed there for awhile so I could relax and not think about Charles and his evil eyes. Insted I thought about something I avent for awhile...I thought about the man I had saw when I fell out of a tree. I knew I wasnt in love but his face always tended to sooth me.

I didnt know why...but it just did.


	15. Chapter 15

chapter 15+

I made my way slowly down the stairs to meet Sara.

I smelled the scent of bacon and maybe even eggs or toast, but the bacon was evident.

"Good morning, Esme!" she said in her loveable voice.

I was still sleepy, "Good morning Sara." my voice was thick with left over sleep.

"Hungry?" she showed me the pan of bacon. Next to that was a pan of sausage, the next was eggs.

"Yes thank you." I said.

She continued to cook, "That was a long trip now wasnt it?"

"13 hours." I told her.

There was a cry suddenly from a baby and I jumped.

"What was that?" I asked.

"Oh, thats Esme. She must be cranky this evening." she said.

I nodded but came back to earth just then, "Wait, evening?"

"Mmm hmm." she said flipping the bacon over.

I slid my hands down my face, "I slept half the day away."

I looked at her cooking, "Why are you cooking breakfast then?"

She smiled, "Because when you woke up you would have thought it was morning and wanted breakfast."

I starred at her for a moment, "Yeah...okay."

I grabbed the news paper and not to my suprise it talked about the war.

They showed tiny icon sized pictures of the men that came home. I accidentlly saw Charles face.

Like a fast refelx I slammed it down away from me.

"What was that for Esme?" she asked.

"What was what for?" I asked.

"The whole throw the news paper across the table so fast it made Sara jump thing." she said turning the sausage.

"Oh nothing, reflex." I said with a smile.

She smiled too and turned back to making breakfast.

She got out a plate and set the food on it. With a smile she put it in front of my face.

I took a fork and shredded the sausage then took a bite of the scrambled eggs and threw in some bacon with it.

"Delicious." I said after swallowing the food. It wasnt as good as Leslie's, but it was food!

"Would you like some milk?" she asked.

I nodded and she got a glass of milk and gave it to me.

"Thanks." I said gulping it. I couldnt beleive how starved I was!

"Gracious Esme, hungry much?" she asked.

I stuffed the last bit of bacon and nodded.

She watched me eat, "Have you ate anything?" I asked.

She nodded, "When I came to pick you up I fixed some breakfast already."

I crammed the last bit of eggs into my mouth and then wiped my mouth with a napkin.

"That should feed the child." I said. I forgot Sara didnt know about me being pregnant though.

"Excuse me?" she asked taking my plate.

I ran thew my head with good excuses.

"I said that should feed your child...it was good." I managed to say.

"Oh, yes...Esme likes my food." she said rinsing the glass out.

She set it up and turned to me, "Happy New Year by the way."

"Happy New Year." I said.

She crossed her arms, "How old are you?"

"25 going on 26 soon." I told her.

She nodded, "Oh yes, thats right."

She flung a dish rag over here shoulder and went into a small room around the corner.

There in her arms was Esme, she was just like the pictures.

"Shes beautiful Sara." I said. I walked over and took its little hand in mine.

"Oh! You have little hands." I said in a small voice.

The baby giggled.

"Yes, shes a rascal! The reason I get up at night and days." she rolled her eyes.

She turned the baby in a position and patted its back while hopping up and down lightly.

I smiled, "Shes just a doll!"

Sara smiled and the baby burped.

"There now." she said. She put the baby in a room next to the one she got her out and came back out after shutting the door behind her lightly.

She turned to me, "Blake was asleep in there."

"Oh." I said.

"Lets sit on the couch." she said taking my hand and leading me to the small living room.

We sat on the couch and she turned her body to me, "So...what brings you here?"

If I ever saw Leslie again, she would pay for making me explain.

I smiled, "Well uh..." I adjusted myself uncomfortably.

"You see...Charles isnt...exactly what most people think he is."

Her eyes were confused, "And how is that so?"

I looked at her for a long moment with searching eyes, but found no use.

I lifted up my right arm and rolled down the sleeve.

She gasped and put her hands over her mouth.

"Esme?" she breathed.

She starred at my grape fruit size bruise with pained eyes.

"Why? Why did he do this?" she asked.

I rolled my sleeve back down, "I will never know, Sara."

She shook her head, "You will _not_ go back to him you hear me?"

I nodded, "Why do you think I came here?"

She shook her head.

"And one more, tiny thing." I said.

She looked at me and placed her hands on my shoulder.

"What is it?" she asked.

I took a deep breath and closed my eyes, "Im going to have a baby."

She smiled and dropped her hands, "Oh Esme this is great!"

I smiled, "Now you see why I came?"

"Wait...what does the baby have to do with this?" she asked.

I looked at her in the eyes, "I cant bring my baby home to a man like Charles. I had to escape."

She nodded in agreement and knowing, "I see."

"It is _very_ important that nobody knows where I am." I told her.

"Oh Esme thats horrible!"

"I know, but its true. But you understand that nobody will know. If they find out, I will leave."

She nodded, "Im with you 100."

"Thank you." I said and gave her a hug.

"Do you know where I could find a car shop?" I asked.

"Your a woman on a mission!" she said.

I smiled, "Arent I?"

She left a note to Blake that we would be back soon and that were are going to buy me a car.

We took her car and went to the nearest car sales places.

A sign read **Rooty's Auto Sales** caught my eye.

I pointed to it, "How about that?"

She nodded and turned into the place.

We parked and got out.

A man with a round stomach and a white suit with thin red lines going down came over.

"Welcome ladies!" he said with a smile.

"Hello," Sara looked at his name plate, "Robert."

"What can I do for you woman?" he asked.

"Im looking for a car in a good price." I said.

"Your in luck! Come with me." he gestured us to follow.

We followed him around the lot and saw about 12 cars.

"And this is a LaFayette." he said pointing to a black and square two door mobile. **(A/N/: I looked this up aslo! Goodness their ugly! Bella had a nicer car...lol)**

"Oh no! That would be too mu-" I cut Sara off.

"How much?" I asked.

"Excuse me?" he asked.

"How much for the car?" I repeated.

"Uh...$3,000" he said.

"Done." I said.

"DONE?!" Sara said.

"Yes, done." I said.

I handed the man all my cash.

His eyes were wide, "Er...thanks." he said.

"No problem... now when can I get it?"

He gave me some keys, "Its yours."

"But first we need to fill out some stuff to verify its owner and such. Then we'll give you a number plate."

I smiled, "Lets get started."

Shocked Sara and I followed the man inside the building and signed some papers.

"And your initials here...and Ill sign here."

I follwed the instruction then past it to him. He signed and then put them in a file.

"Alrighty then, I'll get Earl out here for your license plate."

"Great." I said. He showed us the waiting room. We sat down in wooden chairs and waited.

"Esme, were did you get all that money?" she asked.

"I made some and my freind gave me the rest." I said.

"And you just took it?" she asked shocked.

"Heavens no! I tried to talk her out of it, but she said I would take the money and spend it or else."

She nodded, "Oh okay. Because then you wouldnt be the Esme I knew!"

"Do we _really_ know everybody?" I asked. I was directing it to Charles.

She was silent and a man with a dirty black oily forhead and a rag sticking out of his pocket walked up to us.

"You must be the fancy lady with the money!" he said.

"You must be the man you will give me my license plate!" I said with a smile.

"Well how did you know my name? I go by handsome too." he said.

"Clever." Sara said.

"Now I would shake your lovely hands but uh, mine are not so clean at this moment."

"Working in there are we?" I asked.

"Oh yes ma'am, boss's orders." he said.

"Well, you have to follow rules." Sara said.

He nodded and chuckled.

"Now then," he clapped his hands together, "lets get started."

We went to his office and I wrote down my numbers. In no time he molted it and screwed it on the back of the car.

"Perfect! On a brand new LaFayette too!" he said.

"It looks good." I said starring at it.

"All in a days work." he said.

We starred at it for a moment then snapped back to earth.

"Well, here you go ma'am. Have a nice New Year!"

I chuckled,"Thank you, and you too," I said.

Sara got into her car and I into my new one and drove home.

I had to follow her since I wasnt perfectly sure where she lived.

We pulled in her house and parked our cars.

I walked up to her, "Thank you."

"Your welcome."

We went inside and saw Blake on the couch with the baby.

"Find anything?" he asked with a smile.

Sara gave him a kiss and walked to the kitchen to put her coat up.

"She bought a LaFayette." she called over her shoulder.

His eyes widened, "Your kidding!"

I shook my head, "Its outside if you want to see it."

"Sure, can you hold the baby?" he asked.

I nodded and took the baby carefully.

He went outside and saw my car then ran back in.

"Shes a beauty!" he said shivering.

"Yeah it is." I said and returned the baby.

Sara came back in with a mug of hot tea.

"Fights the chills." she said and handed it to me.

I took a sip and it trinkled down my cold throat. I shivered.

"Its good." I told her.

She smiled and started the firplace.

After that she got everyone some blankets and curled up on te couch.

Sara sighed, "Oh this is comforting."

"Sure is." Blake agreed and kissed the top of his baby's head, then Sara's.

We watched the fire crackle and told stories of our past like always.

"So, what exactly did Charles do?" Blake asked.

"His outside face was diffrent from his normal face. When he was in public he would be a gentleman...but at home."

I rubbed my cheek.

"How did he abuse you? Like for what reasons?" Sara asked.

"For everything. I followed his rules and everything, but it wasnt good enough for him." I started.

"One day he came back from the army and threw me against the wall because I planted flowers. Then on one very bad day he chased me out to the fields and hit my face with a belt repeatedly. I burnt my hand when I was thrown to the table and was insulted." I told them.

"Does he know your pregnant?" Sara asked.

I shook my head, "No, and hes not going to find out."

The rest of the night we talked away, updating each other and telling about Charles.

I felt well rested...it felt like I was at home.

For now anyways...


	16. Chapter 16

chapter 16+

It has been 5 months I've lived there, and my belly has gotten bigger.

I was sitting in a chair knitting while Sara was in the other copying.

"What will you name it if it is a little girl?" she asked.

"Bethany." I said.

She smiled, "Sort of like me huh?"

"Thats what Im going for." I said,

"What if it is a boy?"

I though about that, "Howard."

"Thats a lovely name." she said knitting.

"Yes it is." I said.

She was knitting mittens for Esme so she was prepared for the next winter.

I was knitting a blanket for my baby. It was a light green so that no matter what it was, the blanket wasnt too boyish or too girly.

She told me I should just buy the clothes but since I had put all my money on my car I thought other wise.

I wrote Leslie alot and told her about my journeys and that the plan was going well. Christopher said wrote back because she was sick and couldnt write back.

I was smiling everytime I read it.

"Hey Sara?" I asked.

"Yea?"

"I need to go to town today to check my mail." I told her.

"Okay, you want me to come?" she asked.

"If you want to." I said.

"Of course I do! Just let me tell Blake." she said with a smile.

"BLAKE!" Sara called.

"AH!" he screamed. There was a huge thud which shook the house, Blake fell off the roof.

He slowly got up and came inside, "Yes?" he said panting. He was re-shingling the house.

"Sorry...did I frighten you?" I asked.

"Just a little." he said sarcasticly.

"Sorry," I said.

"We need to go to town today." she said.

"Okay, what for?" he said grabbing his chest, trying to get his breath at a normal pace.

"Were checking Esme's mail. I may get a few things though." she said.

He looked at me and then Sara, "You want me to take care of Esme right?"

"Please?" Sara asked.

"You know I would." he said.

He wiped a streak of sweat off his fore head, "When are you leaving?"

"Oh in a couple of minutes." Sara informed him.

He nodded, "Ill be on the roof." he went back to his job.

Sara turned to me and sighed, "I just love that man."

I smiled, "Im glad Sara Beth."

"Im sure you'll find somebody one day." she assured me.

"I hope so." I said.

We were silent till I put my knitted blanket down and grabbed my stomach.

She was frightened and set hers down to, "Whats wrong Esme?"

"Nothing...it just hurts." I said breathing through my nose.

"You sure your okay to get the mail?" she asked.

I nodded, "Positive. I get these pains every now and then you know."

She nodded, "I _should_ know."

I smiled and sat there for a long moment.

"Well, lets go." I said trying to get up grunting.

"Oh Esme thats nothing compared to what your going to have!" she said when I acted like my stomach was a boulder.

"It doesnt need to grow anymore!" I complained.

She rolled her eyes and we walked out the door.

"Can we take yours? Mine is out of gas." she asked.

"Yeah sure." I said and changed my direction.

"I'll drive." I told her. She didnt argue.

I have lived here long enough now that I know my way around the town.

"Are you expecting anything, Esme?" she asked.

My face twisted, "Bills...letters...normal stuff. I just havent been down there in so long I guess." I shrugged.

She nodded, "I see. I havent been down there in awhile myself."

"What are we getting?" I asked.

"Hmm?" she said.

"You said that you would get a couple of things...what are you getting?"

"Oh, some flowers and groceries. Were low on food you know." she told me.

"Remind me to go to Jenna's Drawer." I said.

"What are you getting there?"

"Some of my shirts dont fit anymore." I said.

"I have some extra shirts and dresses if you want to borrow any." she offered.

"Oh no thanks. Ill by myself some cloths. You never know when you could have another." I said.

"Alright, if thats what you want." she said.

I nodded, "It is."

We pulled in to the post office and got out.

She opened the door and stepped in. The place was small and in between two stores. It was a mess and had a half desk. There were shlefs of letters and bills that were alphabetized. There was a small room behind though for more mail...my mail.

"Why hello Mrs. Johnson!" called out a cheerful voice.

"And Ms. Platt...good to see you too."

I had been known as single around here so I went along with my maiden name. No one ever commented me about my pregnacy though.

"Good day Adam!" Sara said.

"And what may I do for you today?" he asked.

His silver blonde hair glistened in the light and his blue eyes glowed. He had a sun kissed tan and nicely sculptured body and face. His teeth were perfectly straight and his smile showed them off. He was at least 19 and was, as I heard, engaged.

"I need to check my mail today." I told him with a smile.

"Ah, so you were coming down for mail and not me eh? I see how it is." he winked.

"It was never meant to be Adam." I told him.

He chuckled and went into the back of the room to get our mail.

"So how is Amanda?" Sara called for him.

"Fine, fine. I talked her into moving up here with me and away from that floral shop so we could be together." he called back.

"Ah! Here we are." he said when he got the mail.

He drew my attention, "She worked at a floral shop?"

"Yes ma'am." he said returning with a pile of my mail.

"What was the name of the store?"

"Ursela's Floral Shop." he answered.

"Oh I saw her there! I went over there a very long time ago but her name is familiar." I told him.

"Isnt she beautiful?" he asked with a smile.

"Shes gorgous Adam." I said. His smile widened.

"When is the wedding?" Sara asked.

"In a couple of months. We wanted it in the late summer early fall." he said.

He leaned in closer, "It will be on a lake were we first met, but dont tell her." he said.

"Of course we wont." I told him.

"Good." he smiled.

"Well, this will be all for today Adam. We'll see you again when we need our mail." Sara said.

"I will be waiting." he called over his shoulder while walking in the back.

"Goodbye!" we called.

He waved and we walked out. The bell rang when we went back outside.

"He such a sweet man." Sara said.

"Ive known him since he was in diapers and always loved the world around him." she told me.

I nodded, "I hope thats what he is toward Amanda."

"Oh I know he is. He once saved a dog from a snow fall." she said.

"And Charles saved millions of lives by joining war." I mummbled.

We got in and I skimmed through my mail. I let Sara Beth drive.

I stopped when I saw letter from Leslie.

I threw the others behind me and ripped it open.

I saw her scribbled hand writing and saw that most of them was urgent.

My eyebrows drew together in confusion.

I read it.

_Dear Esme, _she wrote.

_Im glad to hear our plan is working, but now is the time we use the part for you to move somewhere else._

_Your parents know where you are! They will tell Charles since hes been on a mad hunt to find you. I dont want to imagine what will happen when he finds you. So now, not only I, but Christopher plead you to run. RUN BEFORE HE FINDS YOU!_

I covered my mouth and my heart raced.

"How? How do they know!" I said throwing the letter down. Hot tears chased each other down my cheek.

"Whats wrong?" Sara Beth asked.

"My parents," I cried,"They know Im here with you."

She looked confused, "What does that mean?"

"Pull over." I directed her.

She obeyed me and pulled to the side of the road.

"Calm down Esme." she said soothingly.

"I dont want to...but I have to." I said over and over.

"Do what?" she asked.

I shoved the letter in her hand and continued to cry.

She read it and covered her mouth and her eyes grew wide.

"Esme." she breathed.

She threw the letter down and stomped on the gas and turned around.

"What are you doing?" I asked.

"Were filling the tank up and getting you out of here." she said.

I layed my head back, "I dont want to go Sara Beth...I dont want to leave you!"

"Shh Esme! Things will get better." she said.

I sat there and cried.

"Listen okay? When we get home you pack your bags and leave to the farthest place you can go. You have enough money to buy a apartment up north so I suggest you go there." she said.

I nodded, "You get a place and find a job to pay for the bills. Act like Charles is dead or something. Fit in."

I nodded again, "I will be driving up there wont I?"

"Yes, you cant take a train because you wont have a ride to the apartment."

"Okay."

She pulled in the station and rang the bell. A man came out and filled us up. She gave him a tip and sped off.

"Dont waste your time, that letter must have been sent here for days ago and for what we know, Charles could be here looking for you." she told me.

She slammed into her drive way and pushed me out while she got out gracefully yet fast.

"BLAKE!" she yelled.

Like last time he fell off the roof and got up slowly to greet us.

"Yes?" he asked.

"Get inside, where packing Esme's bags." she ordered.


	17. Chapter 17

chapter 17+

I threw my bags in the back of the trunk and turned to Sara and Blake.

"Take care of yourself." she gave me a hug.

"You too." I said.

I turned to Blake, "Take care of her and the baby. Be careful."

"I will, same goes to you. Well, for the baby." he said.

I chuckled.

"Goodbye." I said.

"Go on now Esme." she said.

I smiled again and turned around and got in the driver seat. I threw it in reverse and sped out of town.

I had my destination...where ever I landed at when my tank ran out of gas.

I turned out and kept riding and saw a sign that read, **Come Back Soon!**

I waved at it, "I will be back one day." I said.

I turned on my new radio to smooth jazz. It helped my hormones stay normal.

Everytime a horn would blast I would get mad. Everytime a piano would softly play I would cry.

I thought of the good times I had with everybody, from the time I played hide and seek at night with Rebecca and Heather, to were I caught fireflies with Allison. I thought of the pros and cons of when I fell out of the tree and smiled. I remember jumping in the lake in the dead middle of winter when I graduated from high school. My first kiss from Connor on accident and now my baby.

My precious darling baby was all I had left of me for now. I would hopefully find a man that will fulfill my deeds and make a wonderful father. Anybody near the type of Charles is immiediatly eliminated. I pictured a man with a warm, happy face and caring soft hands. He would be like Blake is to Sara.

I wiped a tear and kept driving.

I past many signs that welcomed me to diffrent states and cities, but I past them all at ease. I wanted to stop to rest but kept my eyes open. I couldnt stop yet since the car was still full. I checked it and saw it perfectly in the middle.

I huffed and accelerated the speed limit.

I switched to every station for each new state I pass so it would update.

There was a few times I would stop at the gas station to fill up and get coffee because I wasnt ready to stop yet. I was lost in my thoughts, planning for the child and for what is ahead of me.

I sighed and rolled down the window and stook my hand out to feel the breeze.

The sun was poking up behind the hills in front of me.

"Come on, you now you want to come out and play." I told it.

I was tired of driving in the night.

My hands tightened on the wheel when I saw a sign that read, **Welcome to Wisconsin!**.

I smiled and kept drving. I remember studying the states and how it had The Great Lakes near by. I always wanted to visit them so nows my chance.

I would have gone to Michigan, but as I can tell I had already past it.

Everywhere I past I saw farms and cows to no suprise. They were home of the best cheese as I heard.

I changed the station again so it wouldnt be scratchy from the leftover Illinois radio station.

"Where almost there darling." I said to my belly.

I have been driving for 53 hours and not one sign of sleep. It was my goal to reach a safe place for my child and I. I was not marching back for any reason what so ever.

"Hello everyone out there, Im Jazzy Carl and your listening to Smooth Cat." the host said on the radio.

"Hello Jazzy Carl." I said to the radio.

"The finest radio station in Wisconsin since radios where invented. Right now it is 3:45 am." he said.

3:45? I have been driving in this state for over 4 hours! I have got to be somewhere.

I had to use the bathroom really bad then. Mother said when your pregnant you have to pee alot.

I saw a promising sign that told me it was a grocery store.

I swung in and parked. It was a very small and had on tons of flourescent lights decorated on it which brang it to life.

I clutched my stomach and walked in. It had tons of food that said half off signs.

There was a petite woman with a unique bob of hair sitting behind a small counter chewing gum.

She stared at me when I ran around everywhere looking for the bathroom.

I ran up to her slamming into the desk, "Bathroom?" I said really fast.

"At the end of aisle 7, make a right." she directed me.

"Thank you." I said and ran off to where she told me.

Every employee starred at me while I raced to the bathroom.

I turned right and charged through the doors.

I took my time then washed my hands when I was done.

I walked out and took a deep breath. I went back up to the lady at the counter.

She smiled and popped her gum, "Can I help you with anything else?" she asked.

"Yes, what town is this?" I asked.

"Its not a specific town, but we are right outside of Ashland." she said.

I decided that this was as far as I would go, Im almost in Cananda!

"Do you know where I could find a motel?" I asked.

"The closest one here would be four miles away." she informed me.

"Great, can I have directions?" I asked.

She nodded and pulled out a pen and paper.

"Its called Sleeping Inn, ask for Don he's my husband. Tell him you know me and he'll give you a discount for you and your baby." she smiled.

I smiled back, "Oh your such a huge help dear! Here." I gave her five dollars.

"Its not much but its all I can give you right now." I said.

"Thank you, that was very kind." she said.

"Oh, but right now I need help so it is _you_ that is kind." I said.

"If you need any help or...groceries come back okay?" she said.

"I sure will." I told her.

"Have a nice day ma'am." she said.

"Oh call me Esme. Ma'am is too old. Im only 26."

"Well, good day Esme." she corrected.

I smiled and walked out. I got in my car and pulled out.

I unfolded the directions to the motel and started in tht direction.

It took me 45 mintues and 16 wrong turns to make it to the street it was on.

I huge sign read many diffrent places but one only read a motel.

I sighed and turned in.

I pulled out my suit case and walked in.

There was a man behind the counter with a shaved head and two diffrent colored eyes.

The place was a big as Charles' old house he lived in before he married me,

There was about 3 stories of diffrent types of rooms and plants were everywhere. I saw some steps and smiled.

"Hello, welcome to Sleeping Inn." he greeted.

"Hi, my name is Esme Platt." I said.

"Hi Esme, what can I do for you?"

"I need a room."

He laughed, "Doesnt everyone that walks in here?"

I smiled, "I supose so."

"What size?" he asked.

"I just need a one bedroom."

He held out a peice of paper with a outline of the bedrooms and pointed to a small one on the far left.

"Is this okay?" he asked.

"Anythings fine." I said.

He pulled it back to the counter and pulled out some papers.

"I need you to sign here and I'll sign here." he said giving it to me.

"Thank you so much." I said and went to a chair to fill things out.

I starred at the status reall hard, I had to circle married divorced or single.

I scratched my head with the pen then had a thought.

I circled divorced and wrote a note above it.

I smiled and got up to hand it to him.

He looked at it and read my note. He frowned, "Im sorry to hear that Miss."

"Its okay, war does that to some people. Nobody can be expected to come back alive from war. My husband didnt."

He nodded, "Thats the truth right there." he said.

"Well, here are your keys ma'am." he said handing me the keys.

"Oh hold on I have a couple of questions." I said.

"Yes?" he said. I cleared my throat.

"May I ask your name?" I asked.

"My name is Don." he said. I smiled.

"Your wife told me to come here. I ran into her at the store and she said for me to ask for you."

He shook his head, "Discount huh?"

"Thats what she wanted. She saw I was about to be a mother and said you would give me a discount."

He nodded, "Thats her. Such a kind heart. Well, I guess I would let you have a discount."

He grabbed the paper back out and marked down some things then set it back down.

"Anything else?" he asked.

"Yes, is there any job openings?" I asked.

He pulled out a news paper and turned to Classified.

"Here you go Miss." he handed it to me.

"Thank you." I said.

"And your room is 109." he said.

"Thank you sir."

"No problem." he said with a smile.

I turned and went on my way to the room.

"103...105...107...109." I said.

I put the key in and turned it.

I walked in the room. It was definitly small. It had already made beds with brown sheets. There was a window on the west wall and a small kitchen connected to the living room. The bathrooms were down the hall. There was a curtained off area for the small bath tub. I was pleased with the fact of a bath in the morning.

I sighed and put my suit case down on a table.

I snapped the locks off and and pulled out a night gown.

I grabbed the news paper and curled into the bed. I kept the lamp beside my table on and read the paper.

There was a ton of job openings, but the interveiws were early in the morning and I couldnt wake up that early.

I saw one that however caught my eye.

_In need of 5th grade teacher!_

_Work from 8:30 to 5:55 paid good money_

_Anyone interested may come to the school when able to._

It gave the directions at the bottom.

I tore out the information and sat it at the table next to me.

I was going to be there when ever I was ready. I walked over and checked if I had any formal clothes.

Sweet Sara packed some for me. She had extra from her last child.

"Bless you Sara Beth." I said. I closed the suit case back and went to the bed.

I tossed and turned but kept a comfortable place so that me and the baby were safe.

I planned everything out for tomorow and then fell asleep.

I had a feeling I wouldnt have to run away anymore...but a part of me said it was something else I was running away from. Death.


	18. Chapter 18

chapter 18+

I woke up very stiff. I was now in a bed instead of driving in a car.

I got out of bed and went over to the mirror.

I checked for any flaws but only had some leftover scabs from Charles.

I walked over to my small bath tub and turned on the water.

After it was full I turned it off and took off my gown and sunk in.

I did the same process as always and rinsed off.

They had a bar off soap that smelled regular. I swiped it on me and rinsed it off.

After that I unplugged it and grabbed a towel and dried off.

I walked over to my suit case and put on a ivory collared shirt and dark blue long skirt over my belly. I put on my best shoes and air dried my hair.

I powdered my face and pinched my cheek. I wore my mothers necklace and sprayed perfume on.

I got the directions to the school, shut the door behind me, and walked out.

"Ill be back Don." I told him.

He still wore the same outfit since the last hours I saw him.

"Alright Esme. Where are you off to?"

"Im geting an interview for being a school teacher." I said.

"Ah, Lockheart Elementary I presume?" he said.

"Yes, 5th grade also." I told him.

"Good luck Esme." he said cheerfully.

"Thank you, have a nice day."

I walked out and got in the car.

"Okay, east on Main Way the left on Broderick Rd." I said and started the car.

I pulled out and followed every specific direction and stopped a few times to ask people near by.

I saw a small white building with two doors. It looked like a church but the sign inticated it was the same school in the news paper.

I parked and checked for anything wrong in the mirror. I took a deep breath and stepped inside.

The students were working on something and the former teacher was walking around looking at them. It was a one room classroom.

I cleared my throat and got her attention.

"Hello ma'am. What may I do for you?" she asked. Her hair was pulled up in a bun and had on glasses. Her blonde hair glowed and her deep blue eyes where freindly.

I flashed a smile, "I was interested in working here."

She walked over to me, "An interveiw?"

I nodded and she grabbed my elbow, "Follow me."

I had no other choice but to do so.

The children kept working and we went outside.

She sat me down and starred at me in the eyes, "So...is there a reason you would be working here?"

"I love children. Ive always had and looked into teaching since I was 7." I told the truth.

"Have you had any experience?"

I shook my head, "Not unless teaching your dolls counted." I smiled.

"What is your name?" she was serious buisness.

"Esme Ann Platt." I said.

"Do you have a husband?" she asked.

I bit my lip and looked down, "He passed away in the war."

She frowned, "Im sorry to hear that."

I shook my head, "No, its fine."

She asked me about my past and what to expect from me.

She smiled alot, "Every person I have interveiwed today isnt twice as serious as you are Ms. Platt."

I smiled, "Its been a dream I guess you could say."

She smiled, "Well, thats all I need to hear. But I do have a concern."

I looked in her eyes, "Yes dear?"

She looked at my belly, "How long will you be staying?"

I smiled, "Once my child is born and healthy I will be back sooner than you think."

She smiled, "Well Esme...welcome to Lockheart Elemantary."

She took me inside and the students where still working.

She pulled me to the front of the room.

"Students may I have your attention?" she said firmly. They all looked up.

I stood there and waved to everyone with a smile. I was so happy to have all these children.

"This will be your new fith grade teacher. Her name is Ms. Platt."

"Hello Ms. Platt." they said in a union.

"Hello students." I said with a smile.

"She will be starting tomorow. You will still have the same teachers for your grade from 6th and up. Be nice to her."

She turned to me, "Is there anything you want to say?"

I nodded and stepped up, "Hello class. As you know my name is Ms. Platt. I have never taught but it has been a fantasy of mine. I love children and can assure you I am not a mean teacher like most of you know."

Some people snickered, "Is there anything else you would like to know about me?"

A little girl raised her hand, "Yes?" I called on her.

"Where were you born?" she asked.

"I was born in Ohio." I answered.

"Do you have brothers or sisters?"

"No I dont. Im an only child."

"Have you ever taught?" other students started shooting me questions without raising their hand.

"No, not really."

"Whats your husbands name?"

I gulped, "Charles."

The teacher grabbed my shoulder, "Students, her husband fought in the war."

"Is he still there?" a boy asked.

"No, he past away." I answered.

"My father was in the army one time. So was my grandpa." a little boy said

"Jonah your grandpa was not in no war!" a girl turned around in her seat and told him.

"Uh huh! He told me so!"

"Well your grandpa is a liar!" she turned back around.

I smiled, "May I have your names?"

I went row from row and wrote down peoples name.

I even tried teaching a lesson and to my sucess, I didnt mess up.

I took the kids out to recess and lunch.

More teachers came in and I meet them

2 teachers were a "widow" like me.

"Yea, he served for a year. I got a man come up to my door saying I was a widow." she said.

I frowned, "Thats awful dear."

She nodded, "He said he would come back, I was waiting like I said. But not everyone keeps their promises."

She looked at me, "What about you?"

I fished for a story.

"We were together for two months. He got shipped off soon after. He came back for a break then left again. I had a man come up in the middle of night also saying he was gone forever. I later found out I was pregnant. So this is the last of him." I said looking at my stomach.

"Oh thats terrible." she said.

"My husband was with me for two days. He got a telegram saying he was needed and will be shipped the next day. He didnt want to go and promised to write me." she folded her arms.

"The camp was too much for him and the next you know he was in the bathroom...hanging."

I gasped and gave her a hug, "Oh honey!"

She started crying and I rubbed her back, "Things will get better."

The other lady came up, "You will find a man one day. He will treat you right and will love you."

She sniffed and wiped her tears embarassed, "I suppose so."

I wiped a tear that escaped, "You will."

She smiled, "Your a very nice lady."

I smiled, "Can you beleive it? After all Ive been through Im not a grouch."

She laughed and we joined her.

**four months later**

"Does anybody know? Anybody?" I asked.

Kendra raised her hand and I perked up, "Yes, Kendra?"

"Is it 1912?"

"You are correct. The Titanic sank in 1912. Does anyone know why?" I asked.

Nobody answered, "How about you Eric? I know you know this!"

"The ice burg?"

"That is one reason yes. Very good! Anybody know another reason?"

Jordan raised his hand, "Yes?" I called on him.

"The ship broke in half."

"Good job, anybody else?"

Nobody answered and I sighed, "Okay. The main reason was because it had small prepellors and not enough life boats."

Greg nudged Williams arm, "I told you so!"

I laughed, then my stomach acted up.

I held it and gasped, "Ow." I said.

The pain got worse and worse, "Oh my god!" I said holding onto the desk.

I was trying to breath but it was hard.

"Oh lord!" I screamed.

"Ms. Platt?" Kacy said.

"Kacy...Kacy get Ms. Lorn...NOW!"

She got ot of her seat and I cried out in pain. The students surrounded me.

"AH!" I screamed.

"Ms. Platt whats wrong?" a boy asked.

"Im going...to have...my...BABY! AH!" I screamed.

I was sweating now. The doors slammed open and I was on the floor.

"ESME!" Ms. Lorn said.

"Lauren...its time!" I said.

"I know Esme, I know." she said.

She scooped me up and put me in the back of the car.

She held my hand and I sqeezed hers.

"Who...whos taking care of the children?" I asked.

"Dont worry I got Stacy to handle it."

I gripped the door and screamed.

"Just hold on!" she said speeding down the road.

"Where are we going?" I asked.

"To Ashland City Hospital." she said.

"AHHHHH!!! GOD HELP ME!" I screamed. Charles was nothing compared to this.

I was glad I left because if I had the baby screaming like this, I wouldnt be going to the hospital _just_ to deliver the baby.

I gripped her hand harder, "Oh god!"

She speed faster almost using up my gas right then and there.

"Oh my god Esme!" she said shocked.

"What?" I asked breathing.

"I think your water broke."


	19. Chapter 19

chapter 19+

"Move! Shes having a baby!" Lauren cried to a woman in front of us.

She somehow got me in a wheel chair and pushed me through the doors.

"Oh dear!" a nurse said.

"We need to get her in a room now!" she told her.

"I see that...umm...SUSAN!" she called in panic.

Susan came up, "Oh god! Get her to room B07."

The other nurse nodded and put me on a gurny and rolled me out of the lobby and into a room. Other nurses followed her and held my hand.

"It will be okay sweetie, just hold on!" one assured me.

I screamed louder in pain.

They put me in a room with all white and tied me in things. I had a needle in my hand and a new outfit on. There was a band around my hand wit my name on it.

I gripped the railing of the bed, "God!" I screamed.

"Dr. Crown!" a nurse cried in releif.

"She looks about ready." he said.

"Her contactions are done." a nurse told him.

"Right then, lets start." he said.

"Now Esme...take a deep breath." I took a huge deep breath.

"And push!" I pushed as hard as I could and screamed.

**3 hours later**

**(A/N: I decided not to write the whole gorey scene since it would be gross! Besides...we all know what happens during that...**_**happy**_** part of time...shudders)**

I layed on the bed with sweat streaming my face. I was in so much pain. I would have chosen Charles over that any day...but then again I could change my mind.

"My baby," I mumbled.

A cold object was on my head, "Hes fine for now." A voice said.

I opened my eyes, the nurse that brought me in here was smiling down at me with worried eyes. **(A/N: Ha ha! you thought it was Carlisle didnt you? huh huh? I knew it! but really its just a stupid ole nurse with a cold rag...grr. But have no fear! He will be here...or will he?)**

She was dabbing my head with a wet and cold rag because I was sweating.

"What do you mean for now?" I asked with my eyes wide open.

She sighed and looked at my face, "There were...complications. They went to test him out."

My heart dropped and I felt my eyes stinging from up coming tears.

"What?" I sqeaked.

"When your baby was born...he wasnt...breathing right. So we took him to see what was wrong."

I grabbed her wrist, "It will be fine right?"

"I cant guarantee anything sweet heart. But I think the Lord is on his side. He will heal him." she said.

The tears escaped, "He? Its a boy?"

She nodded.

I smiled so wide, "My little Howard."

She smiled, "Thats a lovely name Ms."

"Thats why I gave him that name. I knew he would be beautiful, so I gave him a beautiful name." I told her.

"Well, he certainly is beautiful." she said.

I smiled, "I want to see him."

She frowned, "You cant right now ma'am."

"Testing?" I asked.

She nodded.

I chuckled without humor, "He will hold out. Hes a healthy baby after all. Soon he will be in my arms."

She nodded, "I hope so Ms."

I snuggled to the pillow and shivered.

"Cold?" she asked.

"No, just in pain."

"I have some medicine for that if you want."

"No, it will be over soon." I said. I was wrong but I didnt want anymore medicine that might knock me out again.

I grabbed the nurse's hand, "I had a freind bring me here."

She nodded, "I know. She had to leave. She had to go back to her job and teach."

"Oh, it must have been her time to teach."

"Yes, it was." she told me.

I sighed. My child should be here any moment now. Right in my arms to hold. I would kiss it and rock it to sleep. I would feed it milk and sing it songs.

I smiled at every thought I had with it.

I mentally slapped myself because I forgot to bring his blanket. But I guess I could make up for that to wrap him in my arms.

The doctor walked in and I smiled when a nurse held my baby.

"Howard," I breathed and lifted my hands to him.

The nurse placed him in my arms. He had my curly carmel hair and his daddys eyes. His lips where small like his dads also.

I smiled and rocked him, "He looks like his father."

I had to say, if Charles wasnt cruel, he wouldnt be bad looking. But nothing could match to _him_.

I looked up at the doctor and noticed his facial expression.

My smile dropped, "Whats wrong?'

He took a deep breath and crossed his arms, "Esme...he is experiencing some lung trouble. Now we dont know how bad the case is but-"

"Hes fine, sir." I said cheerfully.

"Esme, please listen to me. We'll let you take him home with antibiotics. Bring him back if anything goes wrong okay?"

I smiled, "Oh doctor everything is okay. Howard will be back to visit you when he walks. I promise."

He ran his fingers through his hair and sighed, "I'll look forward to it..." it didnt match the way he wanted it to.

They left out of the room and the nurse that stayed with me held my baby while I put my clothes on.

I took him back and left the hospital after picking up his antibiotics.

**a few days later at midnight**

"Come on Howard...take the medicine baby." I said.

He breathed irregular and my eyes widened, "No! No baby no! Take the medicine! Please take the medicine baby."

I craddled him in my arms with tears running down, "Please child...please breath!"

His breathing increased and nearly stopped.

"No! Please dont! Breath!" I said with tears coming down faster.

"TAKE THE MEDICINE!" I screamed.

Then his breathing stopped. My eyes widened.

"Howard? Howard darling wake up...please wake up."

I pulled his chest to my ear, there was no sound.

"Howard! Please wake up! Howard no!"

I sat him on my bed, "Wake up, please!" I said shaking his shoulders.

"HOWARD WAKE UP!" I said.

I checked his pulse...it was silent.

"NO! NO PLEASE NO!" I screamed.

I fell to the floor with tears in my eyes.

"Lord no! Please let him live! Not him! Not my baby!" I said to the sky.

I looked at my child...he was cold.

"WAKE UP!" I cried.

"No games tonight! You need your medicine!" I crawled over.

I gave him his inhaler and puffed it in his mouth...no use.

I chuked the inhaler across the room.

"You need your medicine Howard now wake up!" I said.

His eyes were still open so I knew he was alive.

"Darling, its your mother. Please...wake up! I know your alive! Dont do this!"

He was silent.

"DONT DO THIS! PLEASE!" I screamed.

His frail body layed there, motionless, breathless, lifeless.

I fell down again and backed up to the wall and pulled my knees to my chest.

There was a knock at the door, "Esme?"

"Come in." I said.

Don walked in, "I heard you screaming and-" he stopped and looked at Howard.

"Whats wrong?" he asked.

I wiped my nose and looked at Howard, "Howard wont wake up, thats all."

Don walked over and took him in his arms. He shut is eyes and shook his head, "Esme...I dont think thats it."

"Of course thats it! He just falls asleep! Its a common thing." I shouted.

"I dont think he is going to...wake up."

"Then what is it?"

Don looked at me with tears, "Hes gone Esme."

I stood up and marched to him, "You listen here. Hes not dead okay? Hes alive and healthy!"

"Did they say he had a medical treatment?"

"They said he had problem with his lungs...but they gave me medicine."

"Has he been taking it?"

"When he wakes up it will be his last dose for today."

"Have you been giving it to him?"

"OF COURSE I HAVE!" I said insulted.

"Well I cant say anything else to you."

"Hes alive!"

"Esme I would never lie to you...HES DEAD!"

I stood there for a moment and let it sink in. I fell to my knees and cried. He was the only thing I had left of me!

I couldnt see my parents, Sara Beth was out of the question. Leslie was also. Charles was definitly out.

"Im all alone." I said.

"What?"

I stood up and moved to the door.

"Where are you going?" he asked.

I didnt say anything and kept on going.

"Esme! Esme where are you going?"

I stepped out of the building and got in my car. I started it and pulled out.

"Beautiful day! Beauitful day! Its 10:30 for all those people who-"

I slammed the radio to make it quit. My knuckles started bleeding. It didnt hurt though. Nothing hurt.

It was as if I was numb. I speed up and thought of things to do.

I could go back home and let Charles have me. I could take Howard to the doctor and show him what happened. I could write mother and tell her about him. I could have a funeral. I could die.

I could die...not a bad idea.

Not like anybody would care. I had nothing and nobody left for me in this world.

I turned my truck around and headed to a place that people never go to.

It was out in the far woods so nobody would catch me both ways. Catch me when I fall and catch me jumping.

It was the highest cliff known in Wisconsin and dropped the farthest.

I pulled in on a rocky place and stepped out.

"Its my time." I said to nobody.

I walked up to the cliff and started climbing up it to reach the top.

I scraped my knees minorly, but like I said...I felt numb.

I kept climbing with not a tear in my eye, just hope that it will work.

I reached the top after 10 minutes blew by.

I walked on the rocky covered ground and took in a deep breath.

"This is for nobody, to nobody, from nobody." I said.

I walked to the edge and closed my eyes. I stood on the tips of my toes and held out my arms.

I smiled faintly and then...I leaped.


	20. Chapter 20

chapter 20+

Edward's POV

I gazed at the fire while waiting for Carlisle to get back from hunting. He had the whole day off after I pursuaded him to because he eyes where so black. He must be a far distance from where I am since I cant hear his thoughts.

I sighed and leaned forward with my hands clasped together in the chair. This was so...boring. Watching flames for over three hours tends to get less and less interesting. I actually threw in a couple of old shirts to be entertained.

I heard a soft tap on the window. So light that a human ear couldnt hear it.

I looked away from the fire and at the window, it was beginning to rain. I sighed.

"Excellent idea Edward, however, now when it is _your _turn to hunt they will be hiding...very challenging." I said to myself.

I turned my gaze back to the fire, what could be taking him so long?

I let out a heavy breath and got up. I didnt know what to do so I just paced.

My eyes were getting darker and darker. The wind was picking up and the silent thuds of rain turned to roaring screeches. I sighed and walked over to the window and pulled back the curtains.

"Where are you!" I said aggrivated. I looked out the window and saw the trees look like rubber and hunched over from the wind. It was blinding outside, if you stepped out and walked back in it would look like you took a shower.

Carlisle and I built a small two story log house near the woods and away from others. It was basically in the middle of no where, but thanks to our abilitys he gets to work in no time. He feels that Iam not ready for school yet since Iam a fresh vampire as he likes to call it. I agree with him strongly since everytime I act as if Im shopping for groceries and smell the mixtures of human blood. Its so tempting my control is sometimes out of order. In other words my temptation over rules my control.

I stared out the window some more to get a great look at things.

There was a figure walking towards our house that was too large to be Carlisle. I flicked on the lights to get a better veiw of him. Part of my theory just then was right. It _was_ to large to be Carlisle...but only when its himself.

My eyes widened and I ran out the door to help him.

The rain was banging against his skin tossing him a little. His white cashmere shirt was now stained with human blood.

I looked in his arms and saw a small figure of a woman, she was bleeding from head to toe...literally.

She looked like she dropped from out of no where. Carlisle looked as if he could cry if he was allowed.

"Carlisle wha-" he cut me off.

"Open the door, quick. We have to save her." there was a loud crack of thunder.

I ran and opened the door and watched his drenched golden hair carry in a woman. He stopped in the doorway and looked at me,"Lock the doors and shut the blinds just in case."

I did it in a split second and turned to him, "What for?"

He walked upstairs with her and took her to his room ignoring my question, "Shut the door behind you."

I followed his demands. I watched him as he lit a candle and sat it next to her bed she layed on. He sunk down to his knees, level to her face and stroked her sticky hair.

I held my breath.

He chuckled without humor and another roll of thunder hit, "Isnt she beautiful?" he asked.

Did I just hear that? I stood there confused and lost for a long moment.

He turned to me, "Well?"

I looked at her, then him, "I suppose so."

He turned back to her and stroked her from her head to her neck. He stopped at her neck and stared for a very long moment. He had pained eyes but there was still hunger with a hint of...love.

I looked in his eyes to be sure. He stared at her with loving eyes as planned.

He leaned his lips down the the hollow of her throat and kissed it.

His lips traveled to her ear, "Please forgive me." he breathed.

Like a cobra he quickly dug his teeth in her neck so fast it was too late to change his mind.

He pulled back and wiped his lips. He was gasping.

I stared at the woman waiting for a scream, but for some reason I didnt hear a thing.

I closed my eyes and consintrated on her thoughts.

_I dont deser- whats that? Its...ow! OW! IM ON FIRE!_

Right on time she let out a window shattering scream and grasped the sheets.

Carlisle pulled her body to his own and rocked her. He said soothing things so she would calm down.

I slithered down the wall till I hit the floor and wrapped my arms around my legs that I pulled close to me.

Carlisle now sat on the bed holding her and kissing the top of her head.

I stared in disbeleif as he kissed her bloody head. How could he do that? Wouldnt the beast inside him come out and kill her right there in his own arms?

She cried out warm tears and he craddled her.

"There now, things will be better soon. Stay strong." he breathed.

She wimpered and screamed, "Howard! Where are you!"

Carlisle's eyes widened and he let her go. He left her on the bed and crawled off of it. He starred at her.

He covered his mouth , "What have I done? WHAT DID I DO!" his knees buckled and he fell down to the floor gasping.

"You didnt do anything." I said.

"Yes I did Edward! Did you not hear her? She had a husband she loved and I...I..." he covered his face.

I went over to him, "You saved her."

"How did I save her!" he yelled.

"She was dead out there wasnt she! If it werent for you she wouldnt be like this."

"Yes Edward did you not hear yourself? She wouldnt be like _this_. Dieing and gone from her family and husband she loved."

"Shes not dieing...metaphorically speaking."

He chuckled without humor, "She is rebirthing in a dead body Edward."

"If you werent out there to get her and change her _then_ I would agree. I mean look at her."

He looked at her with pained eyes.

"You changed her, when she wakes up she will return to her family. Isnt that good enough? She will be alive...in a way...rather than completely dead!" I said. He smiled but was still troubled.

_Thats true. But still...I tore her from the one thing that matters to her most. How could I have done-_

"You didnt tear her from anything!" I yelled.

"When she is done...forming..changing whatever it is! She will return to her family."

Carlisle banged his fist against the floor, "But I cant!"

I stepped back from his words, "Why not?"

He stood up swiftly and pointed to his finger, "For one thing is because she will be a new born. She will be hungered from the past days like crazy! Just think of what would happen if we turned her in to her family right after."

"So turn her back when shes okay to go."

"Second of all, " he pointed to his other finger, "her family will suspect something if shes gone for three days, then back with a whole new look and two diffrent men."

"Say she went on vacation and we dropped her off."

"And third!" he yelled. He slowly turned his head to the woman with pained eyes.

"I cant let her go...I love her."

I swallowed even though there was nothing to swallow.

He walked over and sat next to her with his hand in hers. He never took his eyes off of her.

"She was sixteen and lived in Ohio, as was I." he started.

"I was working there and it was my last day. I hadnt expected any patients that day so I was ready to leave. But then she came in...well...limping in I should say." he chuckled and squeezed her hand.

"I took her in the back room and worked on her leg. She wasnt crying at all either. She was all smiles. She kept keeping me company and talked. We'd cut up and have a good time. So good I kept her another day. I told the concerned doctors that it looked bad and should be watched over till the next day. I knew from then on that I had developed a new feeling for another I had never felt before. I was sure it was not love though. I kept telling myself that it wasnt, maybe lust...but never love." he looked at me.

"She left the next day, I was troubled. She had a look in her eye I did not understand. It was as if it was the same in mine. I never forgot her though." he looked back at her and stroked her hair.

"I didnt forget her carmel curls, or her chocolate eyes. Her heart shaped face, and of course her smooth lips."

His eyes hungered for something rather than deer.

His finger traced her lips and he sighed.

I rocked back and forth on my heels with my hands in my pockets.

"But, now I know. It wasnt lust...or anything else. It was love actually."

I looked at him for a long moment, then to the woman.

"Whats her name?" I asked.

"Esme...it was Esme Platt...but now I do not know." his eyes where pained again.

"Will you be here when she wakes?" I asked.

"Of course." he said with his fingers under her chin.

He felt her cheek, "So many bruises." he frowned and looked at me.

"Can you get me a cold wet rag?" he asked.

I nodded and without warning I came back and handed it to him. He dabbed it across her forehead and switched it out for his hand. She calmed down a bit, but was still tense.

I sat in the back of the small room and leaned my head against the wall. The rain patted across the house.

Carlisle pulled the covers back and cuddled up with Esme. He sang her a song from the radio we heard today that was truley beautiful...Debussy.


	21. Chapter 21

chapter 21+

**three days later**

Esme POV

I woke up screaming from one last pump of my heart...or so I think.

I looked around a strange room and then at the bed I was in. I was underneath some covers with a new pair of clothes on. I crumbled the sheet in my hand. Could this be heaven?

I flipped my feet across the bed and walked out of the room. I went down the unfamiliar stairs and looked down into a small room with the fireplace crackling. I saw a love seat and sat in it craddling my body.

I looked around but didnt see any family portraits so I didnt know anything. There was however, some paintings of flowers and such. I got up and looked at them. There were irises and tulips. It made me smile.

I wrapped my arms around me and walked into the kitchen. I wasnt hungry at all but I wondered what they had.

I opened up the cupboard and frowned. There was nothing.

"They need to go shopping. Maybe I would go with them." I said.

I closed the cupboards and looked out there back door. It was in the woods.

The woods werent very familiar to me though. I stepped outside in the fog.

There was a bench in front of me. I plopped down and crossed my legs.

"This is nice." I said. It really was. Out in the forrest was a very lovely place, all that was missing was-

"Esme!" a voice called. I covered my ears. They were very loud!

"Out here." I said very low. For some reason they heard me. A man with bronze hair was at my right side in a matter of seconds. I looked to my left and nearly fainted.

"Are you alright?" my angel asked me. I couldnt beleive he was here. I have waited so long. I was waiting for my heart to jump out of my chest right there, but I didnt hear anything.

"I...Im fine." I said. He smiled a beautiful smile that would make any woman drool over.

I looked to my right but didnt see the other man beside me anymore. Funny, I could have sworn he was right there.

I sat back down on the bench and my angel joined me.

"Do you remeber me?" he asked.

"Of course! Your the doctor." I said.

He smiled but it didnt match up with his eyes, "Yes, Im the doctor."

"Excuse me, what I meant to say was...your the doctor that treated me when I was sixteen. I didnt know you were still one." He didnt look any diffrent then from the last time I saw him.

He smiled at me, "So you do remember."

I placed my hand on his shoulder lightly, "I never forgot."

"Me neither." he said. I should be fainting right now.

"I know this is random, but...am I in heaven?" I asked.

He starred at me for a long time with heavenly eyes, "Why would you think that?"

"Well, I jumped off the cliff which should leave me dead. And-"

"You jumped off the cliff?" he asked angered. I jumped back a little from his harsh words.

"Ye...yes." I stuttered.

"Why? Why would you do such a thing." he asked.

I sighed, "Its a very long story."

He chuckled, "Trust me...we have time." I liked the use of the word we.

I smiled, "You wont get mad will you?" I asked.

He wrapped his pinky around mine, "Promise." he breathed.

I caught my breath, "Alright," I said.

"When I was 22 I got married to a man named Charles." I shuddered.

"He was a family freind of my father and Charles wanted my hand in marriage. After pursuation from my father I agreed. Soon, and when I say soon I mean very soon, after the wedding I saw the diffrent side of him. He wasnt the Charles I knew. He was a...monster."

Carlisle jerked back with troubled eyes for some reason when I mentioned the words monster.

"He...abused me."

Something let out a growl and I looked around. Maybe it was an animal in the woods.

"Did you hear that?" I asked.

"Hear what?" the growling stopped.

I shook my head, "Never mind."

"Please continue." he said with a smile.

I smiled back, "Anyway. He had abused me. Two months later he had left because he was drafted to war. I was free from him for two years till he came back. He continued where he left off and then soon later...I was pregnant."

"Did you not tell your parents?"

"About what?"

"Him abusing you." he said through his clenched teeth. I bit my lower lip.

"It spread to them-"

"What did they say?" he asked.

"My moter told me to be a good wife and stay quiet. It will probably be a phase is the words she used."

He nodded, "Continue."

"He got me pregnant, so I had a plan to escape from him and runaway to my second cousin and former best freind. I left when he went out drinking for the new year. I reached to my second cousins house and lived there for 5 months. I checked my mail one day and found out that the information on my where abouts leaked to my parents. I figured that they would tell Charles and he would come to get me. So I fled up north to a town right outside of Ashland. I took in the job of being a teacher and lived in a motel. 4 months later I had born my child Howard." I sighed.

I was suppose to be crying at this point, "They had told me he had mest up lungs and probably wasnt going to make it. I kept telling not just myself, but them that he was going to survive. A couple nights later I was giving him his medicine when he wouldnt breath. But then, it was too late. He past."

Carlisle grabbed my hand and held it, "Im sorry."

I smiled without tears but knew I should have them, "Its okay."

I sighed and kept telling him, "I went crazy that night and just lost it. I had nothing left since he had died. So I drove down to a cliff and decided to leave the cruel life I was living. I had nothing left for me." I shook my head and looked at him.

"Then, I woke up. I wondered around a unfamiliar house and went out here. I was telling myself what a beautiful place this was and..." I paused and looked away. He turned my face to his.

"And what?" he asked looking in my eyes and squeezed my hand.

"I was thinking of...how much I wanted to share it with you!"

He didnt wait any longer and pulled my lips to his. His hands where on both sides of my face and he pulled me to him so that the space between us was closed. I put my hand behind his head and ran my fingers through his hair. His hand went to my waist and pressed me against him.

He let go and looked at me gasping, "I love you. I know how hard that must be going through something like that and all. But I just wanted you to know that I have loved you since I met you and I still love you now!"

I lunged my lips to his and did the same process. We rolled off of the bench and onto the wet grass. His hands where on both sides of my face so I was trapped. We rolled around in the grass kissing. His fingers went through my curls and pushed me closer again.

"I love you too" I said. Then I kissed him again.

He broke away and looked at me, he was on top of me, "How much do you love me?"

"I have loved you since the day I met you! I have waited for you and I still will! I dont care if this is heaven, just as long as Im with you!"

"I love you more than that." he said.

"I hardly doubt that." I went back kissing him.

He unbuttoned my blouse but I caught his hand, "No, Im not ready."

"Okay." he said and kissed me. I was shocked and I pulled away to stare at him.

"What did you say?"

"I said okay. Is that fine with you?"

I smiled and hugged him closer to me, "Ive never heard those words in years!"

Carlisle started kissing my neck and moved up to my jaw. He went back down to my shoulder then up to my forehead.

"You missed." I said and directed his lips to mine. He pulled away.

"Saving the best for last I guess." He said. His kisses where soft and slow with as much passion as possible. His hands traveled down my back and up when we rolled over.

He let go and placed his head on my chest and layed there.

"Esme?" he took my hand.

"Yes my darling?" I asked.

"Did you love Charles?"

I chuckled without humor, "I never loved anyone as much as I loved you."

He gave me a soft kiss on the lips and looked in my eyes, "Thank you." he breathed.

"Your welcome." I said.

He was silent for a moment then he got up frusterated by something. I propped myself up with my arm and looked at him.

"What is it Carlisle?" I asked.

"I have to tell you something." he said.

"You can always tell me something." I said. I got up gracefully and stood next to him.

He smiled and took my hand, "Come with me."

He lead me into his lovely house. I was so happy with him.

He sat me on the love seat along with me. He held his hands in mine and seemed frusterated.

"Edward?" he said.

The strange boy was in a chair in front of us like he was there the whole time.

I smiled at him and he smiled back, "Is this your son?" I asked.

He laughed, "Not realitively."

"Im like a step son really." Edward said.

I smiled, "You seem like a gentle man."

Carlisle smiled, "Man...a new word huh Edward?"

"I guess so." he said to him. I looked confused.

"Excuse me? Would you prefer something else?" I asked with a smile.

Carlisle sighed, "Esme...me, you, and Edward arent exactly...human."

My eye brows pulled together, "What are we?"

Edward and Carlisle looked at each other and Edward nodded.

Carlisle looked at me and sighed, "We are a forgein creature. A...vampire to be exact."

I looked at them both and there was no joke in their eyes, "Really?"

They both nodded. I leaned back in my chair and looked at them.

"We cant be...you cant be." I said.

"Why is that so?" Carlisle asked.

"Well..." I felt my teeth and Edward laughed.

I looked at him then Carlisle, "Whats so funny dear?" I asked Edward.

"I can uh...read minds." he said.

I smiled, "Your are a very talented young man Edward. But when I first saw you I knew you would be."

He smiled, "Thank you."

I smiled and nodded.

"Well, let me inform you on some things..." Carlisle said.

the rest of the day Carlisle informed me on some tips and some rules about being what I am. Sometimes Edward would tell me some too. I felt at home when I was around them. I always smiled and this time it was real. Then I thought about a statement I had said in the past and changed it.

My heaven here, would last forever.


	22. Chapter 22

chapter 22+

**6 weeks later**

"39!" Edward called.

"61." Carlisle said.

Edward was at his side, "You cant be serious. You cheated!"

A deer crossed Carlisles passed and caught his eye. In no time he snapped its neck and drank its blood.

He wiped his mouth, "62."

"Your absurd." Edward muttered under his breath and ran off.

"Dont go to far Edward!" I yelled.

"I wont mom!" he called back. I sighed and turned back to Carlisle, he put an arm around me and we looked were Edward had taken off to.

"What would I do without him?" I said.

Carlisle chuckled, "I really dont know, hes your son."

"He's _our_ son," I corrected.

"But it took me months for him to call me dad. It took him 6 weeks to call you mom."

I chuckled, "Motherly love. Its the same way I feel towards you."

Carlisle pulled me closer to him and kissed my head, "How many have you gotten?" he mummered.

I bit my lip, "24".

Carlisle looked at me, "Are you serious?"

"Im new at this." I said.

He chuckled and kissed me, "I know darling, I know."

"73!" Edward called.

"Cheater!" Carlisle said.

Edward was by his side in a blink of a humans eyes, "There was a large group of bucks just back out there." he gestured.

I headed to his direction and Carlisle followed me.

I caught huge buck and attacked it with force. I ripped open its stomach and sucked its blood. A hard object got caught in my mouth.

I took in a deep breath and spit it out. I went to search for it just because I was curious.

There was something sparkling in the grass. I walked over until a snow white hand grabbed it for me.

"Looking for this?" Carlisle asked.

In his hand was a silver ring with a huge diamond in the middle and three smaller diamonds surrounding it. I put my hands over my mouth and looked at him.

"Oh my lord!" I said.

"Yes I know..." he said.

"I cant beleive that deer ate a woman! And she was married too." I frowned.

Carlisle laughed and looked at me.

"What?" I asked.

He smiled, "Darling, he didnt eat a woman."

I was confused, till he dropped on one knee. I covered my mouth again.

"Esme Anne Platt..." he looked in my eyes.

"Yes?" I breathed.

"Will you be my vampire wife?" he asked.

I laughed and looked in his eyes, "I would love to."

I held out my left hand and he slipped on the ring. He got up and kissed me. He picked me up and twirled me around with glee. I kept smiling and he kissed my neck where he bit me.

There was suddenly a loud clapping, we looked over and Edward appeared out of the woods with a smile.

"Congradulations." he said with his now light butterscotch eyes.

"Edward my boy, will you be the best man?" Carlisle asked.

Edward smiled, "Id be delighted."

I looked confused and Carlisle caught my eye.

"What is it dear?" he asked.

"Nothing really..its just..."

"Just what?" he asked anxiously.

I looked in his eyes, "How did you get the ring in the deer?" I asked.

He laughed and ran his fingers through his hair, "It was very hard to get it to eat the ring Ill tell you that!"

I started laughing along with him and Edward.

"We're having a regular wedding?" I asked.

"Unless you want one filled with scary vampires." Carlisle said.

I smiled, "You know what I mean love."

He smiled, "Well, we will have a preist at least. We will wed here."

"At the house?" I asked.

"Do you want somewhere else?" he asked.

"No, this is perfect." I said breathing.

Then I opened my eyes, "But, what about flower girls and stuff like that?"

"Do you want those?" Carlisle asked.

"I dont want many people, but Edward is the best man-"

"And the ring bearer." Edward said.

"Okay, he has two jobs, a preist, its perfect." I said.

"You can have more people if you want dear."

"Thats all the people I need though..my two loves," I put my arm around them both, "And of course a preist to make it official." I said kissing Carlisle.

"But, wont the preist be suspicious?" Edward asked.

"About what?" I asked unwrapping my arms around them.

"Like, why there isnt many people there?" he asked.

"We will just tell him that we didnt want many people, which we dont." Carlisle said.

"I think that sounds good." I said. Carlisle snaked his arm around me and pulled me close.

"What sounds good?" he said with his lips in my hair.

"Esme Anne Cullen." I said.

He smiled.

"Dont flatter yourself." Edward said sarcastically.

We all laughed, "Well...Im through."

"Me too." Carlisle said.

"As am I." Edward said.

We made our way up to the house and I gazed at my ring the whole way. I was getting want I wanted with a side of being a vampire.

But look at the main dish, the man I love with an order of a loving son. What more is there to ask for?

I kissed Carlisle's cheek when we reached the house, "I love you."

He kissed my lips, "I love you, Mrs. Cullen."

Esme Anne Platt Evenson Cullen...but I go by Esme Cullen the most.

**A/N: I know its short again but I have to make way for the wedding! Wonderful isnt it? They finally get each other and Esme gets her son and husband she always wanted! Yay! Cookies for everybody! Ha ha, just joking. If I had cookies...THERE MINE! ALL MINE!!! MWAHAHAHAHA! (insert evil grin here)**

**Cant wait for the next chapter now can ya? huh? huh? huh? thats what I thought! Well me niether, so Ill make it extra special for you peoplez. Well, buh-bi 4 now. TTFN...ta ta for now! ( credits 4 tigger)**


	23. Chapter 23

chapter 23+

I looked in the mirror and smiled a real smile. Since Ive been with them Ive grown more motherly by the day. I felt that way since Edward was along with us and was younger. He didnt seem to mind and liked the idea of me being a mother. I know he has grown more loyal to Carlisle as well. He still however sometimes has trouble around humans which worrys me. I dont want him to leave but something in his eyes are controling him, its not my Edward either.

I slipped on my dress and buttoned the back. It was a white long sleeved dress that Carlsile had a freind of his made. It was normal but I loved it. It was beautiful.

I left my curls down this time and pinched my cheeks.

I heard a presense and turned around, there on my bed was a bundle of tulips.

I covered my mouth and nearly cried, if I could.

I picked them up and embraced them. They were white tulips that matched my dress very well.

"There lovely." Edward said. I turned around and he was in the doorway. He was wearing a church outfit.

I smiled with warm eyes, "How did you know?" I asked.

He tapped his head, "I read your mind. You sound very happy right now."

I sighed, "Oh but I am dear. Ive never been so happy. I dont really remember my past wedding, but all I know was that I hated it."

Edward frowned, "Im sorry that happened."

I smiled and touched his cheek, "But now it is better."

He smiled with his butterscotch eyes probing with glee. I suppose mine was too. I let my hand drop.

"Sorry I didnt tell you I was making my presense, but Carlisle wanted me to be sneaky."

I laughed, "And how did that work out for you?"

He smiled and ran his fingers through his hair, "Not well, I wanted to see the look on your face."

I smiled at my flowers.

We stood there for a long moment till Edwards eyes shut open. I didnt know they were closed.

"He's excited as much as you. He wants it to begin now but has to wait." he told me.

I smiled, "Yes, I want it to begin also. But I must wait. Is everything ready?"

"Just one more thing." he said. He turned his back and held his arm out for me to slip mine through like a puzzle peice. "Now, we shall begin." he said looking at me.

"Is there anything you cant do Edward? Your also a ring bearer _and_ the best man." I said.

"There are some things, " his eyes were a million years away from me now.

I turned my head and he started down the stairs. He must have been reading my mind the whole way because he never spoke a word.

"Mom?" he asked. We were walking around the house to reach the back.

"Yes dear?" I said.

He looked at me, "Are you happy?"

I looked at him, "What do you mean?"

"Are you happy that you have a vampire family? Monsters and souless?"

My eyes widened, "Yes, but I dont look at it that way."

"What is your point of veiw?" he asked.

I sighed, "I see it as a present or a gift. It wouldnt matter to me if you were murders to humans, just as long as I have you. You guys saved me from my wrong doing, and Im thankfull."

Edward nodded, "I see."

"Is something bothering you dear?" I asked.

"Im having strange thoughts. Like, the smell of human blood."

"I see. Do you want to stand away from the preist?"

He shook his head, "I think he will survive."

I nodded. We turned around the corner and I saw my fiance' standing at a gazebo.

It was decorated with flowers and I saw that from where I painted it white last night it had finally dried.

"Where did the flowers come from?" I asked Edward.

"Carlisle asked me to pick some from the forrest after I was through hunting. You like it."

"Its beautiful." I breathed.

Carlisle was at the step while the preist was on the surface of it. I smiled when I saw Carlisle in a white tuxedo.

He was an angel like no other. I couldnt beleive he wanted me. I know I looked diffrent and prettier as a vampire, but nothing could match up to him.

Edward let go of my arm and I walked up to Carlisle's right side.

I held hands with Carlisle and starred at him with loving eyes. Edward stood next to him with the rings in his hands and wearing a smile.

The preist opened his book and looked at us.

"Dearly beloved, were are gathered here today in the honor of Mr. Carlisle Cullen and Ms. Esme Platt."

I looked at Carlisle and smiled.

"Does anybody object?" he asked to nothing.

Edward snickered behind Carlisle and Carlisle looked at him with a smile.

_What?_ I asked in my head.

Edward just shook his head and we continued.

"Now, take her hand...uh well...just repeat after me." the preist said realizing our hands were already intertwined.

Carlsile looked in my eyes.

"I Carlisle." he said.

"I Carlisle." he repeated.

"Take the Esme."

"Take the Esme." he repeated.

"To be my lawfully wedded wife."

He copied the preist's words.

"To have and to hold."

"To have and to hold." Carlisle said.

"Through sickness and health."

He copied.

"For richer or poorer."

"For richer or for poorer." he echoed.

"Till death do us part."

Edward snickered again and we all smiled because we knew what he was snickering for.

"Till death do us part." he said slyly.

The preist furrowed his eyebrows but turned to me.

"Repeat after me." he instructed.

I repeated the same words he said exept he was to be my husband and my name was Esme instead of Carlisle.

The preist gestured Edward to come up with the rings.

He handed Carlisle the ring and he took my left hand.

"Repeat after me." the preist said.

Edward rolled his eyes.

"With this ring I do the wed."

Carlisle rubbed my hand, "With this ring, " he breathed and slipped the ring on softly, "I the wed."

I smiled and looked at his eyes.

The preist turned to me and handed me the ring. I softly took Carisle's left hand.

"Repeat after me." he said.

"With this ring, I do the wed."

"With this ring," I slipped it on and rubbed his hand, "I do the wed."

I sqeezed his hand and the preist looked up in the sky, "From the power invested in me, I now pronounce you husband and wife."

I smiled at Carlisle showing my freshly sharped teeth.

The preist looked at us, "You may now kiss the bride."

I jumped in Carlisle's arms and kissed him very passionatly. His soft kisses where so gentle I could just melt.

The preist closed his book and looked at us when we finally stopped.

"Thank you so much." Carlisle said handing him a roll of money.

The preist shook his head and handed the money back, "Your newly weds, you will need this." he curled it in Carlisle's hands.

"Have fun." the preist said and took off.

I looked at Carlisle's eyes.

"I love you Carlisle" I breathed.

"I love you Esme." he kissed me.

I pulled back a little but our noses where touching and our lips were a centimeter apart.

I looked in his eyes and he looked in mine.

"True love." Edward said.

I looked at him and smiled, "Isnt it."

I let go of Carlisle and gave Edward a hug.

Carlisle held my hand and we went inside the house.

"Shut the door behind you Edward." Carlisle said.

Edward did as he told. I sighed and turned to Carlisle.

"I'll be upstairs changing." I said.

He kissed my nose, "Ill be down here."

I turned away from him with his hand still in mine. I was fixing to let go till he jerked me back in his arms and began kissing me again.

He scooped me up and took me in our room.

I laughed, "Okay, okay. Now Ill be up here changing okay?"

He sighed, "I dont want to leave you."

"It will be fast, I promise." I said.

He nodded and ran downstairs.

I pulled the dress over my head and exchanged it for a skirt and a shirt. I was barefoot and went downstairs. I was at the last step till something knocked be down and pinned me to the floor.

Carlisle nuzzled me and I smiled, "Okay now." I said.

He moved his hands down to my waist and started tickling me.

"No, NO!" I screamed laughing.

"Stop it!" I screamed laughing. He smiled when he saw me.I tried to push him off but it was no use.

"NO! EDWARD SAVE ME!" I laughed.

Edward came in covering his ears and then started laughing at me.

"Ha ha!" I laughed so much.

"STOP!" I laughed.

"Say it!" Carlisle said.

"NEVER!" I screamed.

"Say it!" he smiled.

I shook my head laughing.

He tickled me harder, "Okay! Okay! I give up!"

"Say it then!" he stopped tickling me.

"But I did, I said I give up."

"Thats not the magic word." he smiled.

I looked at Edward and pleaded.

"Dont tell her Edward." he said.

I rolled my eyes,"Whats the magic word?" I asked.

Carlisle looked at me and kissed my shoulder and neck till he reached the base of my ear, "Say you love me."

"But I already have, you should know that by now."

His nose ran across my neck, "I know that. But its never enough."

I leaned back and looked in his eyes. I placed my hands on his cheeks and pulled his lips to mine.

"I love you...for eternity."

**happy ending huh? god they say I love you so flippin much! But I guess they would since they've been waiting for a century for each other. Well thats all for this story. But im sticking to my promise and I will write another one. reveiw and tell me what you think. I meant for this to be long but Im sorry it wasnt. Vampires...not many things they will do at a wedding. But, what the heck is up with Edward? Why in the world is he having those thoughts? And why is Carlisle so...not Carlisle? Well, I can only answer so many questions but yea. Doesnt it seem that what Carlisle is doing to Esme is what Edward does to Bella? Like father like son! HA HA HA! I hope you enjoyed this story. It took a few days so Im glad. But vacation got in the way a little so yea. Look out for the sequel "Golden Gaze"! **


	24. Extra

_**Behind "Waking Eyes"**_

_**With Klutzzy55**_

I remember reading Twilight for the first time and came across Esme telling Bella about how she tried to commit suicide by throwing herself off the cliff about her baby. Well, being me, I want to know more. I wanted to know who was her baby, why did Charles abuse her, were did she live, did she still love Carlisle, did he ever think about her, what was Edward doing, what did he think about everything, what was Esme doing at the time of 1918? I was so curious! I went to Stephenie's site and read about how she meet Charles and her baby, but I needed more.

I wanted to know how she felt through out those times, I needed details. So I read some stories on fanfiction,but they weren't as detailed! It drove me so crazy that I decided to make my own story. Throughout the whole time I typed it on my brothers laptop on word pad since he didnt have microsoft, which is the reason for all the misspelling. I was typing all day and night, literally. I typed so much skipped dinner at one point. And another time I had to go on vacation, which killed me. But I think the worst part was when the internet crashed and I had thousands of chapters left. I was upset to say lightly. I decided to type the rest of the story though till I had the story finished. Then when a miracle happened and the internet came back, I submittd them on Waking Eyes.

_**Esme Ann Platt Evenson Cullen**_

Esme's character is of course sweet. She has been that way ever since the begining of the story. She wanted to be a teacher very badly, but her father disagreed. I made sure everyone understood that she was still thinking about Carlisle in a couple of chapters. Her character wasn't as kind and sweet as she was in Twilight, I kinda thought after re reading this that she sounded like Bella. But near the end you could tell she was still kind like a mother since she saw Edward. I spend alot of time looking up things that happened in her era since I wanted this to be a good and accurate story. She took the beating from Charles pretty hashly but bravley. I could feel the bruises when I wrote this. Esme was dependant on Christopher and Leslie since they were neighbors. But in the end, she got her dream come true. Oh, and when she was screaming for Charles, which made Carlisle upset, she really wasn't screaming FOR him. She thought he was the one causing the pain so she begged for mercy.

_**Charles Evenson**_

It took alot of effort not killing him a the end, but I survived, an so did he. I remember watching Enough ( a movie with Jennifer Lopez, about her marrying a guy that abuses her so she tries to get some pay back) to get the actions I guess you could say. I have to admit I really didn't like writing them down, especially when he raped her. But that only calls for a sweeter ending with Carlisle. What a rude man he is. Thats why I'm not going to write alot about him. But I can say that I imagined him as a broad, tall, dark haired man that was polite to everyone except for Esme.

_**Carlisle Cullen**_

I didn't mention to you how much Carlisle thought about her, but it was pretty clear near the end when he got her. He has been walking around the earth with Edward throughout the time Esme was being abused, got married, etc..He is a gentle man that didn't want to hurt or harm Esme, but he couldnt resist not having the one he loved. When Esme was transformed, he was with Edward. Edward saw her, so he went to tell Carlisle. Carlisle was so happy, that right away he went to go see her. They admitted they're love, he kissed her passionatly, but when he was getting frisky Esme said no. And unlike Charles he said "Okay" but kept kissing her. Esme was so happy that he listened to her.

Since Esme didn't want a huge wedding, Carlisle granted it for her. She was so happy, and so was Edward. He was basically a light for her dark path.

_**Edward Anthony Mason Cullen**_

Edward was fun to put in the story. He helped out Carlisle when he had a break down about changing Esme. He was a lot of roles in the wedding, but he liked being them. Edward liked Esme right away in hopes of having a new mother. Though I never wrote this, but it was suppose to in the sequel that I cancelled, when Edward left, she was the one that bought him the piano and books. Near the ending we could see that he was thinking about leaving, since he was acting odd. Edward held his breath throughout the wedding since he was a newborn and was ready to attack. When Edward and Carlisle laughed at the wedding it was because Edward read Carlisle's mind who wanted the pastor to hurry things up. Edward was amused. At the very end Edward saw they're love for each other, and began having feelings. He wanted something like that too.

_**Leslie and Christopher**_

We can't have a story with a supporting person. Leslie's character came from movies I watched that had girls smoking cigarettes, bouncing theyre hip, rough, hair always up, around the 80's, and could stand up to a man. Chistopher's character came from a farmers boy. He loved Leslie so much, but liked to joke around with her too much. Leslie was kind to Esme but liked hitting Christopher. Leslie hated Charles ever since Esme told them about him abusing her, and wanted to fight him. Christopher made a smart remark and Leslie popped the back of his head. Leslie was always there for Esme when Charles beat her out in the fields. Esme was there for Leslie when she got drunk on New Years. When Charles returned home and raped Esme, getting her pregnant, Leslie took her to the hospital to find out about the news. But it was both Christopher ad Leslie that gave her money and such to flee from Charles. They mentioned about they're son going into the army, well, in my sequel that again I deleted, they found out that he was shot in action.


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